


I Need a Hero

by BeignetBenny



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Mental Instability, Paranoia, Sabriel Big Bang, Sabriel Big Bang 2015, Super villain Gabriel, Superhero Sam, side destiel, super powers, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-05-18 08:43:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5916523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeignetBenny/pseuds/BeignetBenny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The city of Macto is large, winding, and mysterious. Each corner holds a tale, each ally a legend, and each citizen an enigma. With all the riddles and secrets that bubbled within the city’s soul, villains erupted. With those villains, came heroes.  Villains like Trickster, a man who carries a dark past of being experimented on endlessly, whose only goals is to teach a few people a lesson or two. Heroes like Visum, a man whose powers are endless, but he just can’t figure out how to control. He has so little control that he practically loses himself every time he uses his powers. But, what if those heroes have a dark side, to them as well? And the villains, a light side? Powers can become unstable, heroes can switch sides. Anything could truly happen, and anything did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Origins

**Author's Note:**

> Here it it, Big Bang 2015. It took a lot to finish it, and with everything going on, I'm happy I made it.  
> Thank you to Fangirl-Litra, who did the art for me, thank you to trekchik for beta'ing this for me

 

From a distance, most believed Macto was thriving with its high skyscrapers, and beautiful placement on the east coast. The light from the sun catching in the windows and the fog just be beginning to settle closer to the ground was the city’s postcard moment. People assumed that it was the up and coming New York City. But, all they saw was the facade that the government used to keep tourism up.

For on the ground level, it was the exact opposite. Glass lay scattered across the street and people rarely risked a step outside their houses after six. Gunshots were the children’s lullaby. They started another generation of the bad and worse because all of the bad things were just normal to them. Crime was the only way to make money constantly, the police force wasn’t going to do anything about it. The only way people escaped was through the military. Parents sent their children away to Vietnam at seventeen and almost hoped that they don’t come back for their own safety. When the soldiers came back, close to killing themselves from the PTSD, the government of Macto came up with an idea. An idea that took the entire country by storm.

The first superheroes were created in 1975, in a lab underneath the city. The idea of heroes had been thrown by governments around the world since some of the first comic books came out. Characters like Superman, Captain America and even the newly introduced hero, Wolverine.

The idea sounded magical, like something out of the movies, and John admitted that he was definitely intrigued. He wasn’t the first soldier to agree to the experiments, but he was one of the first to wake up after a successful attempt.

John’s muscles ached and the lights swinging above blinded him. Sounds of shoes on a hard floor matched with echoing voices that made his head throb. Everything felt far too loud, he wanted to cover his ears and tell everybody to just shut the hell up, but when he did try to move his hands, he found that they were restricted with tight leather wrapped around his wrists and his ankles.

“What time did his heart stop?” One of the voices said. John squinted his eyes, trying to get a better look at who spoke. There were two men in labcoats, both of their backs turned from him.

“3:26 am,” The other voice said. “Sir, don’t you think we’ve gone too far? Too many people have died because of this.”

“People who agreed to the circumstances that might come along.”

“That doesn’t matter. Only five people have come out of this.”

“Five people who can now protect our city.” John saw the figure who was speaking look back at him. The man had bright eyes, an intimidating glare, and an evil smirk. The other one standing next to him looked more disheveled and worried. “Oh, look who’s awake. Welcome to your new war, Number Six.”

_-_

As time passed from that fateful night, the city changed, as did the Supers. More were created successfully, more became famous in other sections of the country, and they even became role models to the children. With their new fame, came more and more secrets. The public didn’t know about how the Supers still had to be injected with a serum made specifically for them to keep their powers. Nor could the public know about their identities or their families. They wouldn’t even risk telling their creators anything past the name that the citizens gave them. John especially didn’t have the luxury of trusting the creators, he had a family to protect.

“John?” He was snapped out of his thoughts when the woman standing next to him spoke up. “We’re in the middle of a case.”

“Yes, Mary, I know.”

“So why weren’t you responding to my cues?”

He shrugged. “I’m distracted is all,” John’s attention went to her middle, she had yet to start showing, but he knew. “This is your last case. You know that, right?”

Mary nodded, a stray strand of hair falling into her face. “Of course. I don’t want to risk Dean or Sammy’s safety”

“We don’t know if it’s Sam or Samantha yet,” John commented. “But you seem pretty insistent.”

“Honey, my midwife has the power of foresight.”

“I know, she told me what she saw.” He said, peaking around the corner of the building they were behind. “Two boys running around, with another guy. She said it was Bobby, I don’t believe her.”

“Why? He’s already Dean’s godfather.” Mary said.

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just, me and you weren’t in her vision. I’m just worried that-” John shook his head. “Nevermind, what was it that you were saying?”

Mary hesitated, her eyebrows knitting together in a way that made the band around her head dip down. “They’re trying to create new Supers.”

“Who’s they?”

“That’s what we’re here to figure out. I was told that they were practically creating them from scratch.”

“Their base isn’t human?”

She shook her head. “That’s not what I was saying. The base _is_ human, but it’s the things that they’re putting into them is what’s worrying. Are you ready, Soldier?”

“As I’ll ever be, Allure.”

Allure stayed back as Soldier went forward. As he walked up to the dark building, he felt her eyes, along with others, on him. The sky was dark, but no stars could be seen. Instead of the hot muggy air that early September normally provided them a cool mist of rain fell down. The lights from the building reflected off of the wet street and Soldier’s black steel-toed boots.   

He stopped by the edge of the building and hid behind a wall as he watched the guard’s formation. Only three stood there, which Soldier knew he could defeat easily. What he was more worried about the lack of coverage they had of the place. Allure described the mission as something far more high risk than what he was met with.

Soldier took his gun out of his holster and cocked it. The noise had gotten the attention of one of the guards and he heard footsteps nearing him. As soon as the guard peeked around the corner, Soldier shot him point blank. A voice rang in his head 'Don't draw attention.'

'Mary, you scared the shit out of me.' Soldier thought back.

The gunshot caused the other guards to look over at him. As soon as they truly saw that it was a Super, they began to run towards him, their weapons drawn as well. But not shooting.

'I didn't want to risk talking out loud.' Allure's voice rang in his head once more. 'I know how much you hate this, but this is the best choice.'

Soldier grabbed the guard's body and propped it up against himself although no bullets left the other's guns. Allure was right, he had a family and he didn't want to risk anything. He shot twice and was shocked to hear two thumps. He looked past his makeshift shield to see two bodies on the ground. He shook his head in disbelief.

“That was too easy..." He said aloud and glanced back at Allure, who looked just as confused.

 

Allure followed him into the place, still scanning the area for any more threats near. But, to her surprise, there were none. Not a single threat nor camera that she sensed. Ever since she learned about her pregnancy, some new powers developed. Something similar had happened while she was pregnant with Dean as well. The first thing that manifested was a sensitivity to the things around her. Her midwife said that it usually happend during pregnancy, but things began got more and more strange. If she got hurt while working, even the slightest scratch, it healed almost immediately. Another odd thing was that she suddenly became stronger. The same strength that her husband had, but she was still given the directions of not picking heavy things up.

“I have a bad feeling about this place.” Allure said as they walked down a hallway. Still no cameras. Still no guards.

“I’ve been thinking that since we pulled up.” Soldier said.

They hallway ended, and they walked up to a metal door that was slightly ajar. A warm light made its way through the room and into the hallway. Soldier grabbed the handle of the door and pulled it open slowly, welcoming them to the room.

The walls inside were painted with warm reds and yellows. Cribs stood nearest to the far wall, and smaller beds were lined down the middle with a toy box at the foot of each one. The floor was dark wood, unlike the military esque concrete that they walked down before.

“Is this a nursery? An orphanage maybe?” Allure asked, taking a few more steps into the room.

Soldier followed her in and looked around the room as well. “Looks like it. Why would it be here?”

“Who are you?” They turned around to see a small boy, no older than five, with blonde hair and gold eyes looking up at them. “What are you doing here? If you’re here to get Castiel I swear I’ll…”

Allure held her hands up in a surrender. “No, honey, we’re not here to do anything bad.” She knelt in front of him, dropping her hands back down to her sides. “Can you tell us what you’re doing here?”

The child hesitated, looking up at the two Supers with suspicion. “I live here.”

“And what about Castiel?” Soldier asked. “Who is he?”

He looked back and pointed to a crib in the far corner of the room. “He’s Dad’s favorite. Dad told me to watch over him while everybody else is gone.”

“Your dad’s favorite?” Allure asked, standing up and walking to the crib. “Do you know why he is?”

The kid shrugged. “Because he turned out the best.”

Soldier and Allure shared a confused look between each other, before she looked into the crib. An infant with extremely blue eyes and messy dark hair looked up at her. Her reached his hand up to try and touch Allure. She put her hand into the crib and  he grabbed her finger. Although Castiel seemed pleased with her, the older child ran over to them and ran towards her.

“No!” He shouted, tugging on her cape. “You’re strangers and shouldn’t even be here! Don’t touch my little brother!”

“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” Allure said, her voice smooth as silk, calming down both of them. “My husband and I are superheros. I’m Allure, he’s Soldier.”

The child’s gold eyes lit up and a large smile with multiple missing teeth appeared on his face. “I have your comics!” He said excitedly before running over to the toy box at the end of the first bed. There was a name that had been carved into the wood in beautiful calligraphy. Each individual letter had been scratched out to the point where Allure couldn’t read it. Another word was written under the calligraphy. The letters were scratched in sloppily, as if instead of a knife was used to carve into it, someone had used their nails. Each line gouged over and over again through time, a few stray marks going to the sides of the letters.

“Loki,” Soldier read aloud, causing the child to look up. “Is that what you want to be called?”  He continued.

The child, Loki, nodded before grabbing comics out of the toy box and handing them over to the superheros. “Loki, like in the Thor comics. He’s super cool and he’s a trickster god from the North!” Loki sighed. “I used to want to be like him when I grew up, but then Dad told me that there wasn’t really any use in that. Dad said I could be better than Loki. I still want to be him sometimes though. My brother read them to me before he left. Same with those.” He pointed to the comics in the superhero’s hands.

As Allure flipped through the comics, she was met with scratched out eyes, crossed out words and other defacing. “Did you do this?” She asked, handing the book back to Loki.

He shook his head. “No, my brothers did. They always mess with mess with my stuff.”

Soldier walked over to the toy box and looked in. “It’s a false bottom.”

“What do you mean?” Allure walked over to him, and examined the toy box as well.

Soldier knelt down and took out other comics and small action figures out of the toy box, much to Loki’s dismay, but when emptied, a lone string was left stuck to the bottom. He gave the string a small tug, and the bottom of the chest lifted. Inside was a CD inside a case, and manila folders stacked to the brim with papers. The same name was stamped in red ink on each of the folders. “Gabriel,” Soldier read aloud. “That’s your real name?” He asked, as he began to scan the first page.

The little boy with the big personality suddenly began to really look his age. He looked at the ground and nodded, a small pout on his lips.

There was a loud “tick” that echoed through the room, causing Allure and Soldier to look up.

“Mary,” Soldier said, standing back up, one of the folders in his hand. “You need to leave.”

“You… You used the wrong-”

“I know.”

_Tick_

_Tick_

“It’s speeding up,” Soldier said. “You need to go before it blows.” He grabbed her by the arm with one hand, still holding onto the folder tightly with the other.

“I’m not leaving you in here.” Mary yanked her arm away as they approached the door. “And what about the kids?”

_Tick_

_Tick_

_Tick_

_Tick_

“Trust me.” Soldier insisted and pulled the door open before shoving her through it and slamming the door in her face.

“John?” She punched the door. Hard. “John, I swear to God if you die in here…” Mary couldn’t finish before the ticking started again, louder that before and paired with a robotic voice.

“Mary Winchester, please leave the premises immediately or we will use force with you as well!” The voice repeated as the ticking sped up. Her head began to throb, but she forced the pain away to continue on working with the door. She yanked, and tugged as hard as she could, yet the door didn’t budge. The harder she pulled the more frustrated she grew, closer to tears. Footsteps stomped up behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see three men, all dressed in suits with clean cuts and no weapons, practically clones. One of them spoke in a voice almost matched the robotic one above her. Asking for her to leave or else they would use force. Mary couldn’t care anymore and tugged on the door one more time. She touched the steel door and was met with an intense burning in her hand. She recoiled immediately, and as soon as she stepped away from the door a large explosion rocked the other side. Smoke came from the small cracks under the door and she finally let the tears fall.

“John...” Mary croaked, looking at the door in shock. The explosion still echoed in her ears and her heart pounded in her throat. Suddenly, everything inside of her felt like it was crumbling. The stinging feeling in her eyes from the tears didn’t leave, but instead was overtaken by the pure rage that she felt.

The stomping of the feet that ran towards her just a few seconds before, stopped abruptly. She turned towards them, a burning underneath her skin. “You did this…”

“Ma'am,” One of the men spoke up, holding his hand out towards her. “If you don’t move right now-”

“You did this,” She said again, taking a step closer to him. “You killed my husband. And your research with it. Why?”

“Ma'am.” He said once again, in a warning tone.

“My husband, and _two children_. The same children that you were conducting experiments on. You just let them die like that. How could you?”

“They were the weakest.”

“That was a five year old and a baby!” Mary shouted, her own voice echoed loudly in her ears, but affected the guards to a greater extent. They all dropped their weapons and fell to the ground. For one moment, there was absolute silence, not even her own thoughts occupied her mind. Then all at once her head was filled with hundreds of voices, none of them her own. The quiet that she experienced shortly before felt blissful to what she had heard before. She could even hear the slowed heart beats of the guards on the floor. It was all too much, but she didn’t want to leave John and those kids in there.

One voice singled out over the others, booming in her head. “Save yourself.”

It was John’s voice. The ache in her heart began with renewed pain. “I can’t leave you here…” She said in a whisper so low that she could barely hear herself. “If you’re alive I’m not going to-”

“Just go.” That time, his voice was quieter. Even his thoughts had been choked out by the flames surrounding him.

_-_

 

“It’s been over a year, Mary. You should stop worrying yourself over him.”

Mary didn’t look up from her mug of tea. The November air outside managed to find it’s way in through every crack, causing her teeth to chatter and her bones to shiver, despite the hot steam from the cup in front of her.

The man in front of her continued. “What’s gone, is gone. What’s dead should stay dead.”

“All you knew about him was what you could get out of other people, Azazel.” Mary finally met his eyes. “You couldn’t get anything until recently. You didn’t even know we lived here.”

He sighed and glanced over to the play mat in the living room. “Didn’t know about the little tykes, either.”

“That’s because we didn’t think you should know. You were the ones who put us in this mess, we didn’t want you to hurt our children too.”

Azazel sighed, leaning back in his chair. “We? Us? John’s long gone, sweetheart. Died in the line of fire taking down a facility that stole my research. Hell, stole Chuck too. After John came around, Chuck high tailed and made his own. Said what I was doing wasn’t right.”

“What you were doing _wasn’t_ right.” Mary said. “You took soldiers who were drowning themselves in drugs and alcohol and made them run the city.”

“Soldiers and two MASH nurses.” Azazel corrected. “All who wanted to get back into the action. I saved you from an early grave.”

“And sealed that fate for others.” Mary stood up from her seat at the table, picking up the mug. “I understand what you’re trying to do. But there is no way in hell I’m letting you start Hunters up again. Not with my sons. Goodnight.”

He stood up reluctantly. “All, I’m saying, Mary, is that they would be great. Dean is already showing that he’s pretty special.”

“Because of mutations that you forced.”

“Ah,” He held up a finger. “Because of mutations that you consented to. Dean is a full-blooded Super. Born and bred.”

“And what about little, Sammy, huh?” Azazel continued. “Pretty slow right now, but he’s got potential somewhere in that big head of his. Maybe he just needs a little boost.”

Mary’s mouth dropped open and she stared at him with wide eyes. “He’s six months old.”

“And you told me Dean started showing at three months. Learned how to walk pretty early. Now he can pull along John’s old ‘67 in the garage like it’s a hot wheel. What can Sam do? Lay down, and throw up.”

“Well, there’s the chance he’s not going to be a super. I want him to live a normal life, I want that for Dean too. Now please, leave. The kids are asleep and I need to go to work early.”

Azazel grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair and shucked it on. “Whatever you say, Mary. Just think about it, alright? But I’m sure Sammy is going to do big things, whether you like it or not.”

As he sauntered out of the house, Mary couldn’t help but feel cautious. She kept her eyes locked onto his car until he drove down the road and turned the corner. Even then, she still stared out the window. Waiting for something else to happen.

She had never trusted Azazel, never trusted his practices, or how he even came up with the compound that could change someone so much that it would only take minimal to no injections to keep the mutations going.

“Mommy,” She heard a small voice, and turned around to see a sleepy Dean staring up at her. “You look sad.”

She forced a small smile towards him before picking him up and balancing him on her waist. “I’m not sad, pumpkin pie. Just a little preoccupied is all.”

“What does that mean?” He mumbled into her shoulder.

“Distracted. C’mon, sweetheart. Let’s get you back up to your room.”

They climbed the stairs slowly as they walked up to Dean and Sam’s shared room. She had been walking down the hall before she stopped abruptly.

“What’s wrong?” Dean said, lifting his head up from her shoulder.

“Nothing,” she said. “How about you sleep in my room with me tonight. Does that sound good? I’ll meet you in there in a few minutes. I just have to get Sammy first.”

He nodded happily and Mary put him on the ground before he shuffled away to the master bedroom. Once the door was closed, she walked down the hall to find Sam’s door open. When she peeked through, she saw a figure standing stood over her son with a needle in their hand. Sam had been whining before Mary came in. As soon as the baby saw his mother, he stopped. His cries turned into cooing, and he reached one of his arms out towards her.

The figure noticed Sam’s movements and turned around. She wasn’t even surprised to see who it was.

“Azazel…”

He turned toward her, a sly smile on his face. "Mary, just in time for the show.”

“Don’t touch him.” She said, putting all the force she could into her words.

For a moment, Azazel hesitated, and put the needle back down to the side. “Do you really think that’s gonna work on me, sweetheart? The man who gave you those powers?”

She didn’t respond and instead kept her eyes on Sam, trying to see if anything had changed. Had Azazel done it already?

“Did the idea of me trying it on myself even come to your mind?” He took a step towards her. “I’m not only your creator. I’m your master. I’m your god. Now, just walk out of the room and act like nothing even happened.”

Mary stood her ground. “I can’t do that. I’m not letting you get away with this.”

Azazel shrugged, and took a few more steps until he was up in her face. “Very well. You know what they say. If you play with fire, you’re gonna get burned.”

“Wait,” Mary said, holding her hand up. “At least let me check to see if he’s okay.”

“I wouldn’t hurt him.”

“I need to see that for myself.”

Azazel nodded and stepped to the side. “You have ten seconds.”

She stepped up and looked down into the crib to see Sam laying on his back, moving his little hands and feet around. Almost how she had left him. The only difference was his onesie was open, showing an expanse of skin with marks that were a raw red and warm to the touch. Yet, Sammy didn’t cry, only looked up at his mother with wide eyes.

“5,” She heard Azazel from behind her and turned around. “4, 3, 2…”


	2. The Kids aren't Alright

Whenever Sam woke up, he felt like he was in a different place. He closed his eyes in some stranger’s house, and woke up in a police station. He looked to his left to see his brother gripping onto the metal arms on the chair, red smudges along the seat

“Are you bleeding?”

“Close your eyes, Sammy.”

“I’m not tired.”

“Just do it.”

So he would, not entirely because he wanted to, it was out of his control. He’d wake up again in a beat up pick up truck, and close his eyes again, always at the command of his big brother. When he opened his eyes again, he found himself sitting in a bed in another strange house.

“Dean?” He said hesitantly as he climbed off of the bed. Sam took slow steps around the room, trying to understand his surroundings without bringing much attention to himself. Despite the fact that no one was in the room, he couldn’t help feeling like someone was watching him.

He heard voices from the outside the room. As he tiptoed near the door the voices grew louder, but still muffled. He opened the door so that a crack of light and the voices could flow through more clearly.

A woman’s voice filled his ears. It wasn’t the usual snarling and angry voice that he normally heard as he hid in his room in other foster homes. Instead, the voice was soft and concerned. A distinct Southern twang filled his ears.

“The kid has been out for hours, Bobby. And his brother ain’t talking no matter what I do.”

“Those kids been through a lot, Ellen,” Another voice joined, this one gruff, but just as concerned. “Dean’s been raising Sam since he was four. They had to grow up too fast, and now that we’re giving them a little more elbow room, they’re slowing down.”

“And the scars on Sam?”

“We’ll call Chuck about them.”

The man, Bobby, sighed and pressed a hand to his temple. “It shouldn’t have taken us eight years to get to them.”

“You know Mary and John, they thought they were invincible. They didn’t think ahead. They erased their lives for safety.”

“They didn’t think that though.”

“Of course they didn’t, they were young.”

“Which makes it all the more worse.”

Sam moved away from the door when he heard a bed creaking. He turned to see his older brother sitting cross legged on Sam’s bed. He didn’t even realize that they had been sharing.

“Don’t worry about them, Sammy,” Dean said as he climbed out of the bed. “The grown ups can’t do anything while we’re in here.”

“They’re nice,” Sam closed the door. “Why aren’t you talking?”

“I am talking.”

“I mean to them.”

Dean shook his head and walked to the corner of the room where his bags were. “You won’t understand. You’re eight.”

“And a half.” He walked over to where Dean was and sat next to him. “They care. They sound like they actually like us this time.”

“They’re lying,” He pulled a small comic book out of the bag and handed it to Sam. “They always lie. You more than anybody should know that. Nobody likes what they can’t understand, Sammy.”

Sam flipped through the pages of the comic book. All he had left of his parents were little cartoon remnants of their life fighting crime. “They like you.”

“But they don’t like you. And that’s what matters. Mom told me to keep an eye on you.”

“Why?” Sam asked, tossing the comic to the side. “Because I’m dangerous?” He felt his face heating up and ears begin to ring.

Exasperated, Dean said, “Don’t blow your top now, Sam. We still need somewhere to sleep for the night. No need to scare them.”

Sam folded his arms over his chest and forced himself to calm down before speaking again. “At the police station. Did I-?”

He didn’t need to finish before Dean got the picture. He gave small nod in response. “It’s nothing, though. The asshole had it coming.”

“Don’t swear,” He put his hands back to their sides. “Okay, if I did it. Why don’t I remember?”

“The therapist we had last time said it was because of trauma.” Dean answered with a small shrug, as if an eight year old would take that as an answer.

“What are your powers, Dean?”

He hesitated. “You read the comics, I have the same powers as dad.”

“Then why do I do whatever you tell me to do?”

Dean shook his head and stood up. “Go to sleep, Sam. And forget about it when you wake up.”

“I’m not tired.” Sam insisted standing up as well. He looked up to meet Dean’s eyes.

“Yeah you are.” His brother said, rolling his eyes.

“What are you about to do that you don’t want me to see?” Sam pressed once more, taking a step closer to him.

“Go to sleep!”

“Just tell me!” He shouted, loud enough to get the attention of the grownups outside. “I’m tired of you being so weird lately.”

Dean scoffed. “Says the kid who killed our last foster parent with a look.”

“It was an accident.” Sam insisted. “He was freaking me out, I can’t control it.”

“Then fucking learn to!” Sam felt his breath catch in his throat when Dean yelled. It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. Despite that, neither noticed the door open or that Bobby and Ellen were looking at them in shock. Dean looked from the grown ups to Sam. He just shook his head and looked at the ground. “I’m sorry, just go to sleep. Forget about this in the morning.”

Suddenly, Sam felt tired.

_-_

Eight years since the fire and nobody acknowledged it. It was almost as if it had never happened at all. The sun still shone bright, the family still fought, Azazel was still gone. Well, the last part didn’t have anything to do with the fire, but it sure was better without him. Azazel wouldn’t have taken them to a park to hang out by the lake. He also wouldn’t be religiously trying to find a “cure” for their powers, but that didn’t matter. At least not to Gabe. Sure, the powers were sort of cool, but they weren’t right. Azazel was always frustrated with his creations except Michael and Castiel.

Michael had been a perfect accident. The kid had regeneration powers, so he took anything and everything that Azazel threw at him. Then there was Lucifer. He wasn’t so lucky. He was completely human before, and hated it. Azazel took him in when he was nine, and did all the same things that he did to Michael in hopes that just the average human would be able to become super too. He reacted badly to it. So did the next few children. Raphael made it through, barely. Scars that look like he was struck by lightning still clung to his back. Then, there was Gabe. He turned out okay. Not perfect, but good enough to be considered progress. The plan to have an army of superhumans, or angels, was almost back on track.

There were a few more spotty ones, Anna and Hael being two of them. Then, there was Castiel. The exact perfection that Azazel had been looking for since Michael. He took Castiel from his parents, Jimmy and Amelia. He was the first human to be able to cope with what was thrown at him.

Azazel died after that though, so no army for him. But, that was a good thing. They wouldn’t be able to take a breather by the water if they were training to become a platoon of superkids.

So yeah, Gabe had no room to complain. Neither did Castiel. Lucifer and Michael, on the other hand, had been butting heads since Azazel left and Chuck took over.

“Cas, do you think they’re ever going to shut up?” Gabe asked his little brother as he was looking at the water while they sat on the dock.

Cas glanced over at him then went back to the book that he read. “I don’t believe so. Lucifer insists that getting rid of our powers won’t make us special anymore.”

“Why?” Gabe asked. “I mean, I can still mess with time and stuff, even without the metal wings in my back. And Michael still can do really cool things to.”

“He and I are human. Without our wings or other powers, we’re not really anything.”

Gabe thought about what his younger brother said for a moment. He had a point, they were human. “You’d still be super weird though,” He said. “Like you can read better than me, and I’m twelve. And you’re super smart. And Luce, will still be able to do that sales pitch thing. You know, the thing when he can pretty much get you to do anything.”

“Manipulation.” Cas enunciated the word the best he could.

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Neither did I, but I heard Chuck say it.” Cas sighed and put his book to the side. “I’m nothing without my powers, Gabriel. Actually nothing. I get it, we’ve never really met anybody outside of our family, but I see humans on TV all of the time. They’re boring. All they do is run around and get themselves hurt.”

“Which is where we come in,” Gabe continued. “Yeah, I know. I got the speech to. I’m just confused. Are you actually agreeing with Lucifer on this?”

“No, I just,” Cas sighed. “Nevermind.”

They stayed in an awkward silence for a few moments. Well, Gabe thought it was awkward. Cas went back to his book right after they finished talking, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. They were human and they didn’t have any powers, but Gabe liked humans. They were way less dramatic as everyone in his life. Lucifer shouting at Michael distracted him from his thought. “Speak of the devil,” He mumbled under his breath before listening in on what they said to each other.

“We’re better than humans, Mike!” Lucifer insisted, a pleading tone in his voice. “We don’t need to be turned back.”

“What Azazel did was dangerous. Our brothers and sisters have died going through this. Hell, I almost lost you too.”

“Well, you didn’t.”

“But, I almost did.” Michael sighed and looked down at damp wood. “Azazel is gone, okay? Chuck is helping us get better.”

“There was nothing ever wrong with us. And I’m gonna prove it.”

Lucifer began to stomp over to them, a determined look on his face. When he got to the two youngest, he looked down at them. “Do you know what we are?”

Cas and Gabe looked at each other before looking back up at Lucifer. Cas, confused by the question, shrugged. But Gabe, he had a huge smile on his face while he answered. Ready to impress his big brother. “We’re superheros. We can fly and do a bunch of cool things.”

“Exactly what I was thinking. You know what? I have an idea,” Lucifer said, smirking down at Gabriel. “How about we prove Michael wrong and we can really see something good coming out of our powers. Jump off the dock and see how far you can fly. Think you can do it?”

Gabriel was hesitant. He looked over the dock at the dark water below, then up at his big brother. Lucifer wouldn’t lie to him, right? He stood up slowly and walked closer to the edge of the dock. “You know what, Luce, I bet I could.” So he closed his eyes, and jumped.


	3. Mind Games

Sam opened his eyes slowly and saw a high domed ceiling. The sound of a man with a gruff voice was distant. He took a deep breath and tried to focus. He looked back to see rows of seats behind him with people in each chair. His vision to blurry to make out anything past that. When he turned forward again, he saw a pedestal with an older man in a suit standing on it.

“-Human mind is an interesting thing,” Sam caught the man saying. “Contrary to popular belief, humans do have the capability to access and use all of their brain, as do all animals. But, some are capable of doing extraordinary things.”

“Are you talking about Supers?” A voice rang out to the left of him. Sam looked to the side to see the blurry image of a blond girl.

“If that’s what you want to call them,” The professor said. “Truthfully, I don’t believe that they deserve the title. What they are, are just scientific experiments that were created by the government to handle incidents by unstable people.”

“You don’t believe in Supers?”

“There’s nothing to believe in. It’s like looking at an item of food and being asked if you believe in that. Of course, I know it’s there, but I don’t know its makeup. I don’t know what makes it tick.”

“Some are born that way, you know.” Another student said.

“Because of mutations in the genes due to experiments done to their parents. For example, Allure and her husband, Soldier. Or, as their alter-egos, Mary and John Winchester.” The mention of his parents made Sam lose focus once more. Everything began to blur together. The professor's words sloshed and slurred as Sam felt like he was being yanked backwards. He kept trying to hang on, just a few more seconds…

“Sam!” He bolted upwards and sucked in a few deep breaths. “What the hell happened? I couldn’t get you to snap out of it.” The voice was deep, but caring. Sam placed it as his brother, Dean.

“How long was I out?” Sam managed as he tried to steady the tremors that started in his hands. Cold sweat stuck to his forehead. The room, although still blurry, was more in focus than the lecture hall.

“Thirty minutes. Do remember anything?”

Sam shook his head. “All I remember was that I kept jumping to different places. I could only manage to hold onto City Hall for a few seconds before I went somewhere else.”

“Where did you go?”

“I don’t know,” Sam lied. “I only remember the first jump.”

“Awesome,” More of the room came into focus as the couch he was on flattened out slightly, the weight that was next to him lifted. “Cas, read the questions.”

“What’s your name?” Another voice added in. This one deeper than the other and more steady.

“Samuel Winchester,” Sam answered. “I’m fine, by the way.”

“Well, we aren’t technically allowed to assume your fine until you answer all of the questions. Age?”

“Twenty-nine, born on May second, and the public knows me as Visum. It means vision in Latin. You know, I’m not as unstable as you guys think.”

“I never said you were unstable,” Cas set the clipboard to the side and sat down on the couch next to Sam. “Your heart stopped beating. I had to get Kevin to revive you.”

“Astral projection is a bitch, ain’t it?” Dean said and the couch sunk next to him once more. Sam was handed a cool glass bottle, the condensation making it harder for him to grip. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Sam tried to look where Dean’s voice was coming from, but when all he saw were blurs, he shook his head. “Three?”

“Are you reading my mind or actually looking?”

“I’m not reading your mind,” Sam took a sip from the drink. Beer, he realized. “I just know you.”

“Fair enough. Well, tonight’s gonna be pretty busy. You’ll need to be ready in about thirty minutes.”

Sam looked around the room as it came back into focus. He remembered that he had originally gone down in the war room, but as he looked around, he saw that he was in the library instead. The library’s art deco style lessened their bunker’s warlike manner. The bunker once belonged to Sam’s parents as their base. Perks of being a Super in the 80s, they got all of the cool toys that were in comics. From secret hideouts to the spy gadgets they would use. He and Dean were practically raised there. Most of their time was spent either at the bunker with Bobby or one of their many foster homes. The road trips were hell, but Ellen insisted on them having a separate life from their powers, something that John and Mary didn’t couldn’t provide with their super life.

“Maybe it would be a good idea if Sam doesn’t come on patrol tonight,” He heard Cas saying in a low whisper. “It’d be too risky right now.”

“Cas,” Dean said “He’ll be fine. He’s still got all of his marbles. Sure, there a little out of place, but he’s dealing.”

“You haven’t noticed how he’s been reacting to things lately? All I’m saying is-”

“Drop it, Cas.”

Castiel opened his mouth to say something, but closed it immediately, turning his attention to the ground. “I’ll go get ready.” He said instead before walking out of the library and to his and Dean’s shared room.

That was one power that Dean would never admit that he had. Sam believe it came from their mom. She referred to it as convincing, just to make it sound less harsh than it actually was. Even Dean agreed with her on the philosophy of the power that she had. It was just talking, whatever reaction someone had to the suggestion was what they were planning on doing already. Dean used it on Cas in the least obvious ways, but Sam noticed. Of course he noticed, he used to get the brunt of the “convincing” when they were little kids.

When Castiel was out of earshot, Sam spoke up as he got up off of the couch. “You really shouldn’t be using that on him.”

“I just told him to drop it,” Dean walked over to Sam and took the beer from his hand. “For your sake, by the way. So you should be thanking me.”

“Thanking you for using mind control on your boyfriend?” Sam raised an eyebrow at his brother.

“It’s not mind control. I’m just talking.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Whatever,” Dean shook his head, and set the beer bottle to the side. “The main thing for tonight is the bomb threat at city hall. Honestly, I’d prefer if Mayor Crowley gets blown up, but we gotta be the good guys? Probably a few petty crimes going around too, like the weird crap that your boyfriend pulls-”

“We broke up a while ago.” Sam added quickly, but Dean continued as if he hadn’t even heard Sam.

“-but just keep an eye on the building. You and I can handle that by ourselves. Cas is going to take sky. Celeste’s taking ground. After we patrol we should be able to head back in no time.”

“Wait,” Sam said. “Why are we only taking Celeste?”

“Because we need Charlie here with Kevin. The kid’s new, we need him on monitor, and he has no idea what he’s doing. Plus, he hasn’t figured out a cool superhero name,” Sam threw Dean one of his perfected bitch faces, to which Dean responded with a laugh. “What? The names are an important part. Same with the costumes. I don’t want to have the kid running around with spandex with lightning bolts with him and a name like Thunderstorm or something like that. Speaking of which, you better suit up. Like I said, bomb threat. I don’t think any of us are willing to clean up the mess from that.”

_-_

Visum looked down over the busy streets and the ant-like cars while Seraph and Huntsman spoke to each other, practically through him, both of them shouting directions at each other into the ear piece while Sam tried to keep focus on the bomb in city hall that Echo was diffusing, giving her directions just by thinking. 

“Visum,” He heard Seraph’s voice in his ear. “We need you down with Dean.”

“Can’t.”

“Why not?” The strained voice came from Huntsman.

“Can’t do hand to hand. I’m helping Echo with the bomb.”

He heard Huntsman curse, but other than that completely blocked him out.

‘Sam? It’s still blinking.’ Another voice rang in his head. ‘What do I do now?’

‘You’re the tech genius, try the blue wire. Or better yet, try Charlie.’ Sam thought back. ‘Dean needs me down.’

When Echo didn’t respond, Visum let out a breath, happy to have silence for a moment. At least, as much silence as he could have. 

The world was constantly too loud, with a steady pain right behind his eyes and a thumping in the back of his head. Whenever he patrolled, he always got overwhelmed with the people thinking so loudly. He wanted to block them out, but at the same time he wanted to know what they thought. The fact that every person had such a different life always fascinated him. Each day so intricate, each thought so fragile. And if he had the chance to get too close to them, he would be able to see every single thought or feeling. Ruining himself and whatever relationship that had been made.

He sighed, looking down at his gloved hands. Visum had forseen his brother’s death more than once and made Dean turn the exact opposite way to avoid them. As with Seraph. If the angel would have been shot out of the sky on a specific day, Visum would tell him not even to risk flying for the rest of the week.

Other times, he wasn’t as lucky with the specifics. Or worse, he knew everything to a T and didn’t want to risk hurting them in anyway. That was how his last relationship ended, and that was how all of them would end.

“Visum!” Huntsman’s voice came back. “Seraph is down. We need you on the ground! Now!”

Before he had the chance to respond, Celeste’s voice was back. ‘Charlie didn’t know, Sam. Your help would be friggin’ fantastic right about now.’

Visum pressed his hands to his temples, everything was suddenly too loud.

“Dammit, are you even listening?” Huntsman’s voice, panicked shouting in his ear.

‘10 seconds left, gigantor. If I die I’m blaming you.’ Celeste’s voice was angry, yelling in his head.

Both kept barking orders at him, orders he couldn’t keep up with. Civilians cried out and prayed to whoever was listening. Visum heard every single one. His head spun and his vision began to blur. He sat down and pressing his back against the ledge dropping his head between his legs.

“Huntsman, hold your own for just a few more seconds okay?” Visum said, noticing the strain in his own voice. “I can’t help. Too loud.”

‘Five seconds.’

“I knew we shouldn’t have brought you,” he froze at the words coming from his brother. “Cas was right, but no I just had to insist. You’re fucking crazy, I should have known I can’t rely on you.”

‘Three…’

Visum felt like a hammer was hitting him repeatedly behind the eyes. A continuous pulse of absolute pain. He tried to drop his head lower as he put both of his hands behind his head, pressing down to attempt to release some of the pressure that was making him nauseous. Suddenly there was a loud  _ snap _ .

Then nothing.

He sighed to himself, pleased with the sudden silence, but also disappointed with who caused it. Without lifting his head up, he spoke. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“Course I did, Kiddo. Didn’t want you having a seizure before you pick up your crap from our apartment.”

He lifted his head slowly, first greeted with a pair of bright purple converse that had a design of a wing sewed onto the outsides, then dark washed jeans. At last, he met golden eyes with a glint of mischief in them and light brown hair styled in such a way that his hair looked like it was pushed out of his eyes. “What? No tights this time?” Visum asked.

Golden Eyes shrugged. “I was just saving your ass, Sammy. No need to hate on the super suit. Besides, no real need to have it out right now. I’m actually in the middle of changing costumes. The tights were really old fashioned. I’m supposed to be the villain now, right? I can’t go around wearing purple and green spandex. My best chance is hiding in plain sight.”

“I never said anything about you being the villain.”

“My skyrocketing police records say otherwise.”

“Gabe, there’s no need to bring our personal lives into work.” Visum said, forcing himself to stand up. “Especially when our work includes diffusing bombs and saving people from some weird super creation experiment.”

Gabe held his hand to his chest in mock offense. “I am insulted. That bomb was really hard to make. Hell, I’m still holding it right now.”

Visum rolled his eyes. “Illusion. I should have guessed.”

“Needed to get your attention somehow. And it’s not Gabriel. I’m Trickster, remember? I mean, since this is just a Super on nemesis relationship we have going on.” Trickster sauntered over to Visum, standing so close that he almost backed up off of the rooftop.

“Don’t touch me.” Visum said, stepping to the side.

Trickster held up his hands in surrender. “Jesus Christ, Visum. I’m not going to. I just want to show you something.” He stepped closer to the edge and looked down. “C’mon.”

Visum reluctantly walked back to the edge. “They’re still moving.” He noted when he saw the ant-like people still running around.

“See? Didn’t stop the entire world this time. Which I thought was romantic, but you said was ‘Stupid’ and ‘Could literally kill all life on earth.’” He shrugged. “Whatever. Just pick up your shit, okay?” Another snap, and he was gone. All the noise came crashing back down and Visum’s head began to pound once more.

‘It stopped’ He heard Celeste's voice say in his head. ‘What did you do?’

‘Nothing,’ Visum answered. ‘Just go help Dean and Cas, okay? I have something I need to do.’


	4. Touch

Ear buds were pushed into Sam’s ears and his hands were covered in gloves and buried in his pocket as he walked down the street. It was only midnight, and he could still hear Dean barking orders to the citizens of Macto. Or, Huntsman, rather. Huntsman had a strong commanding voice, the people obeying whatever he said without a second thought. Plus, there was the fear of his strength and anger if they disobeyed. Once, Huntsman choked someone who shot Seraph out of the sky. Sam couldn’t help but wonder what happened to the guy who hurt Seraph this time.

Castiel, of course, was Dean’s crutch. They had been together for years and had known each other even longer. Dean had been head over heels as soon as he saw the jet black, metal, wings sprout from Castiel’s back and the fire he held in his eyes. He wouldn’t say where his powers came from, but the Hunters can assume, mosts likely an incident in a warehouse where some crazed scientist tried to make a stronger race of supers. It had been before Sam was born, and all he knew was that the place blew up and that it was where his father died. 

Of course, there was Echo and her power was multiplication. Technically, there were two Echos. Celeste and Charlie, and even they didn’t know if one of them was a multiple. Charlie said that Celeste had always been around, at least as long as she could remember. Yet, when she introduced the rest of the Hunters to her mother, her mother insisted that there was only one until she was eight months old. Both Echos had birth certificates, both of them were two distinct people, as much as anyone knew. There had been a few others: Jessica, Samandriel, Bela. All had come and gone.

Then, there was Sam. He wasn’t as strong as Dean, didn’t soar like Cas. Hell, if there was another one, like Celeste and Charlie, Macto probably would have been destroyed ten times over. It wasn’t like he wasn’t trying, but he just never quite  _ got _ his powers. They felt artificial. He couldn’t control what was happening inside of him, and when he tried bad things happened. Really bad things.

The only one that had tried to help him out was Gabriel. He understood, he said his powers didn’t feel like they were really his either. The two of them spoke about the other’s powers, and even began to understand their own.Gabriel understood his powers quicker and more fully than Sam did. Yet, he wasn’t jealous. Sam loved Gabriel; he was the only one who didn’t treat him like a monster. Even Dean said many things in fits of rage, although he always took them back later. 

It was Sam’s love that caused the breakup in the first place.

When he arrived at the front door of what used to be his apartment, he took his gloved hand out of his pocket and knocked.

The door opened and he was greeted with Gabriel, who hadn’t even bothered changing since they last saw each other. He had a smile on his face, but his eyes were puffy and red.

“You’ve been crying,” Sam commented as he looked down at his ex-lover. “What’s up?”

Gabe waved him off. “You’d be crying too if you had to dig through your ex's crap every day for two weeks.”

Sam laughed nervously, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, sorry about that.” Gabe stepped to the side to let Sam enter.

“Haven’t really gotten around to cleaning the place either,” Gabriel commented as he closed the door behind him. “It doesn’t even look like anyone’s even been here since the fight.”

“Well, you aren’t wrong…”

The couch cushions lay abandoned to the side. Busted lights and shattered glass still lay on the floor near the lamps. The wooden floor was scratched and the cieling light was still swinging as if Sam just slammed the door in Gabriel’s face moments before.

Gabriel shrugged. “Perks of having two psychics live together, I guess. I just haven’t had the time to do anything about it.”

For a long moment, it was quiet between them. Sam looked around the damage that  _ he _ had done, while Gabriel looked at him. The night was still fresh in his mind. It started out as something simple. Just a small disagreement. about Gabe being too reckless. He had almost gotten himself killed and Sam refused to let that happen. That was the fight Sam had the first vision. Anytime before that it had just been him feeling a little off.

_ “This isn’t you, Sam” Gabe’s voice rung in his head like an echo. His voice shook and he heard the wind rushing around them. “I  _ _ know _ _ you.” _

Dammit, Sam. He thought to himself. Focus. He looked at Gabe. Gabe was still there, still alive. Focus on him. Focus on him. 

After a moment, Sam broke the silence by clearing his throat. “Okay, anywhere specific you want me to start off?” 

“It’s all scattered around, I couldn’t care less where you start off.” Gabriel sighed and walked into the kitchen, before opening the fridge and peeking inside.

Sam looked back at him. “You okay?”

Gabriel nodded and pulled two beers from the fridge and slammed the door shut. “I told you, I’m fine. Another part of the whole power thing, remember? Empathy. It sucks, but it happens.”

_ That was me,  _ Sam thought, but didn’t risk saying it. He was sure Gabe knew already. Sam didn’t want to be there, he didn’t want to even risk being around Gabriel because of that.  _ It was my fault, it had all been my fault. _

“It’s not you,” Gabe said suddenly, most likely reading his mind. “It could literally be anyone that I am sort of close to.”

“I forgot I have to censor my thoughts around you…” Sam said under his breath before moving a few stray dirty clothes from the couch and sitting down.

Gabriel walked up to him and handed him the bottle of beer, that Sam happily took. 

“So, kiddo, what have you been up to? You know, other than saving people, hunting things, the family business?”

Sam shrugged. “That’s pretty much all I’ve been doing. I almost got a hold of astral projection. It’s harder than you would think.”

“Are they trying to kill you?” Gabe questioned as he folded his arms over his chest and stood up a little taller. “Because that’s what it sounds like.” He looked like a bird trying to show off his feathers to intimidate a rival or get a mate. Despite his stature, the intimidation worked. A chill ran through his body. It then hit him that he hadn’t responded yet.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re basically dying every time you try it,” Gabe huffed. “If they wanted to get rid of you, I’d expect them to be a little more subtle about it. How many times have you tried?”

“Just once. Don’t worry, I’m fine.” Sam insisted, looking up at him. It felt so weird to have to look up to meet his eyes. 

“I’m allowed to worry about you, Sam.” Gabe said and sat down on the couch next to him. They didn’t break eye contact and Sam couldn’t help but think that being level with him was so much worse. The golden eyes made his throat feel like it was closing up and his heart began to race. Sam was about to get up and run, yet he just couldn’t.

“No, Gabe, you really aren’t.” He finally said. “I just need to worry about myself. I can’t be close to anyone or else…” He tried to explain, but his voice choked on the words.

“Or else what?”

_ Or else I have to see you die,  _ Sam thought, hoping it wasn’t loud enough for Gabriel to hear.  _ By my hand. _

Gabriel heard him, or at least could sense it. For a moment, there was a look of worry on his ex’s face. Not enough that shows he knows Sam’s going to kill him, just enough to know that it has  _ something _ to do with him. Then, he forced a small smile. “You know what, don’t answer that. I always thought that shroud of mystery you carry around was kind of sexy.”

Gabe’s eyes landed on a spot on Sam’s forehead. Just enough to seem like he’s still looking at him, but the eye contact was broken. 

Sam tried to find a different focal point as well, but his eyes ended up landing on Gabriel’s lips. Sam missed those soft, pink lips more than he wanted to admit. For a millisecond, there was a flash of an image. He knew the scene well enough to know when to leave. Before he could do something he knew he would regret. He got up from the couch. “I really should get going.”

“You never got any of your things.” Gabe said, nonchalantly. He looked towards him, not directly. Again, his eyes seemed like he was looking right through Sam.

“I’ll pick it up over the next few days.” Sam gave Gabe a small nod before walking out and closing the door behind him.

Once he was out of the apartment, he pressed his back against the door. The chill from the wood seeped through his jacket and made him shiver. Despite the cold, he brought his left hand up and took the glove off with his teeth to reveal a shaking, pale, hand. He stared at it for a moment, thinking of the image that he saw. Even if it had been a snapshot of the entire vision, the rest of it played in his head like a song that you just couldn’t get out of your head. It kept replaying and he couldn’t get away from it, no matter how many other thoughts he tried to bury it with.

Sam took a deep breath and pulled the glove back on his hand before walking out of the complex.

As soon as he was back on the street, he was inundated with hundreds of voices in his head once more. He pulled his headphones from his pocket and popped them back in his ears, blaring music loud enough to block out an entire war, until he heard a woman’s voice. “Where do you think you’re going?”

He took an ear bud out and looked around him. Civilians walked around him as if all he was was an obstruction. Just a random obstacle in the way of wherever they had to go.

“Don’t think so little of yourself,” The voice said again. “I was the one who made them stop seeing you.” Her voice was less disembodied that time. He turned again, to see a woman who was much shorter than him withlong dark hair framing her face. Her lips looked to be in a permanent smirk and her arms were folded over her chest.

“Where did you-” Sam didn’t need to finish before she answered.

“I’ve been following you for a while, dumbo. Just decided that now was as good as ever.” She held a hand out to him. “I’m Ruby.”

“Ruby,” Sam said, taking her hand carefully. “Okay, good to know my stalker’s name. Why have you been following me?”

Ruby shrugged, and buried both of her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket. “What can I say? I like tall guys.”

“I’m not joking.”

“Neither am I.” She shrugged. “Also, I heard you needed help. So here I am.”

Sam scoffed and turned around. As he began to walk away, Ruby spoke up again. “I’m the same as you, Sammy.”

He stopped in his tracks. Without turning around, he asked. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Ruby said, her voice getting louder as she neared. “Your powers aren’t yours. Not really. A guy did it to you when you were a kid right? Azazel did that to me too.”

“Okay, so let’s say you’re being serious about wanting to help me,” Sam said, turning back around. “But why?”

“You want your boyfriend back without having to see him die every time you’re near him. You want your brother to actually respect you and see you as more than a prop.”

“Not what I meant.” Sam said. “What’s in it for you?”

Ruby’s smirk grew into a smile. “I like you, Sam. And, I know what you’re going through. Let’s just call it charitable work. So, you game?” She offered him a hand.

He looked at her hand hesitantly. “I’m desperate,” He said. “But I’m not that desperate.”

Ruby’s hand dropped back down to her side, a look of disappointment graced her face only for a moment. “Consider it a charity.”

“I need more than that.”

Ruby sighed. “Listen, Sam, I really am trying to make this decision easier on you. But, this is really life or death. You’re going insane, I can see it in your eyes. You can see it too. If not for our boy toy, then how about for yourself?” She stuck out her hand again, waiting for confirmation or denial.

Sam looked from her hand to her eyes. For some reason, he couldn’t get himself to say no. “Fine, I’m in.”

_-_

The Bunker door closed harder than he intended, getting the attention of everyone in the war room. There were tools on the table next to Dean, as he worked on Cas’ wings, which were out, but laid against his back. Kevin glanced at a comic book, his feet on the table, and Charlie and Celeste drank their beer.

“Dude,” Dean was the first one to comment, putting his tool to the side. “Where the hell were you?” 

“Out.” Sam said, as he climbed down the stairs. 

“What are you? Twelve?” Dean bit back, pushing his goggles up his head. 

“Please don’t fight right now,” Cas spoke up as he sat straighter. “We’re all really tired of it. You can keep going in the morning if you want.”

“No,” Dean tossed the tool to the side and stood up out of his chair. "Where the hell were you, Sam?”

“I told you,” Sam huffed. “I was out. I have a life outside of you. Unlike everybody else.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean, you’re controlling. Nobody ever gets to do what they want because of you. I can’t even chose who I want to talk to without having you breathe down my throat!” He shouted, running a hand through his hair. “You’re not Dad or Mom, and you will never be! I’m an adult, I can handle myself!”

Dean just shook his head and sat back down before putting his glasses back on to work on Castiel’s broken wings. “Well, I’m the closest goddamn thing you got. So, just tell me next time, okay?”

They had the same fight for years. For a while, Sam only had Dean who practically was his parent. But, that was a long time ago. Sam had grown up and found his cause. Finding out who he was. What went in to whatever the the hell he became.

 

_ “Sam, listen to me. I have done nothing to hurt you. Or any of you. I never would. I’d fucking die before I let anything happen to you guys.” Dean’s voice echoed in Sam’s mind. _

_ “Well, then you’re a little late. How about we start catching up.” His own voice countered _

 

Sam swallowed hard. He’s had plenty a visions about Dean before. The man was almost as reckless as Gabe, almost getting himself killed every night. But the one he just had? That was new. It was Sam again. Instead of Gabe it was Dean.

He shook his head, trying to get the image out. “I’m heading to bed. Wake me up if something important happens.

“Sam?” Dean said, before Sam had the chance to walk farther away. “You know I didn’t mean what I said when Cas go hurt, right? Just sort of a heat of the moment thing.”

He forced a small smile before nodding. “Of course. No need to worry about it.”


	5. Power and Control

_ “This isn’t you, Sam. I know it isn’t. I  _ _ know _ _ you. _ ”

_ “I’m sorry, Gabe. I really am. But you don’t know anything about me.” _

Sam forced his eyes open and sucked in a deep breath, hurriedly scanning his surroundings. No rooftop, no open sky above him, no screaming below. It was just his bedroom. All four walls of familiarity. He swore under his breath before scrubbing a hand over his face and sitting up. 

His entire body was sore. Ruby said she was going to make him better. Sam didn’t expect it to be immediate, but he didn’t expect the burning addiction that came along. The injections had only gone on for a week, but his arms were worn as if it had been months. Someone else's blood was running through his veins and it was starting to hit him.  _ Hard _ . 

He glanced down at his arms, greeted with bruises littering up and down his veins. Ruby had promised him power, but what he was getting, sure as hell didn’t feel like it. 

Apparently, what had gave him power in the first place was given to her as well, along with a few select others. What Sam needed was more of that. And Ruby had it, even if it wasn’t the most convenient way. 

He hauled himself out of his bed and walked over to his dresser to pull something on. While he was putting his shirt on his phone began to ding. Sam picked it up and looked over it, see it was Ruby.

 

_ Ruby _

_ >> Sorry, kid. The bank of Ruby is officially closed for business _

 

Sam stared at the screen, beginning to panic. It couldn’t be over, it barely even started. An itch began underneath his skin. His arms felt like they were burning for more.

 

_ Ruby _

_ << What the hell are you talking about? _

_ >> You know what I mean, dumbo. No more _

_ << Why? _

_ >> It’s blood. I practically drained myself for this.  _

_ << Is there any other way for me to get more? _

 

For a moment, she didn’t respond, and the twinge of panic began to grow.

 

_ >>I have an idea. Meet up with me at 7 tonight. _

 

_-_

 

Sam sat on the curb where Ruby had told him to meet up, earbuds deep into his ears, blasting some classic rock song that Dean had put in there. Something, as Dean said, would “Help you clear your head better than that banjo-indie crap.”

He huffed out a breath and watched as the steam from his mouth floated upwards. Dean’s words still hung in the air between them. Since the initial apology, they didn’t even look at each other, much less speak. It wasn’t the first time Dean blew up at Sam about his abilities. Mary said that he was the most like their father. Anger issues and all. 

Sam looked down at his hands when he noticed them shaking in his gloves. He pulled his glove off and stared at it.

“It’s called withdrawal, short bus.” He looked up to see Ruby standing over him. “You obviously got hooked a lot quicker than I thought.”

Sam rolled his eyes and stood up. “Whatever, can we just get this over with?”

A wicked smile appeared on her lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”

She pointed out a building tucked away behind it’s parking structure, only the top two floors visible. Ruby said that he would know when he saw the target. All he needed was a touch, skin on skin, to figure out who it was. Sam didn’t think it would be to hard, but when he walked into the office and greeted with a smile that he had seen before, it became a lot harder.

“Ava Wilson?” Sam said, surprised.

“Sam Winchester.” The smile didn’t leave her face. The two of them knew each other in middle school. They had hung out a little together, nothing extremely close. But after not having seen someone for eleven years, you act like you were the best of friends because you almost feel like you should have befriended them at the time. 

“It’s been a while.” She continued, looking up at him. “What brings you here?”

“Oh,” Sam tripped over his words, trying to find a good cover. “I was supposed to meet someone on the third floor.”

“Really?” Her smile didn’t waver a second which freaked Sam out a little. “The cafeteria is on that floor, I was actually just about to head up their for lunch. You want to ride up there with me?” Sam nodded and together they walked to the elevator. 

As the doors closed, Ava reached for the button, the motion causing her arm to brush against Sam’s. For a moment, he felt his heart stop as an image flashed before his eyes.

 

_ There was Ava, glaring down at him. Sam kneeling on the ground. He could feel himself fighting for a breath. The words that came out of her mouth were garbled. The only things he could make out was “Undefeated” Before he felt himself move his arm up, and watched as his nails clawed at her arm, causing her to get down on his level. Then, he swung around and wrapped his arm around her neck. Tightening until he heard a loud snap. _

 

He moved his arm away from her, quickly, and suddenly, the needle in his back pocket became a lot heavier. “Maybe I should head back.” Sam said, mostly to himself as he reached out to press the first floor button on the elevator, hoping that it hadn’t started its ascent to the fourth floor.

“It’s not just precognition, you know.” He turned around, to see Ava’s sickly sweet smile fade into a smirk. “Hell, what you saw is probably way different than what I did.”

“I don’t-” Before Sam could finish, the elevator lurched to a stop, causing him to lose his balance and run into the wall. 

“You’re one of us. That’s obvious enough.” Ava took a few steps closer to him, meeting his eyes. “Azazel must have liked you.”

The closer Ava was, the harder his heart beat. The itch underneath his skin worsened, as if it could feel that what it wanted was near. He kept his hands down, holding onto the railing behind him.

“Azazel?”

“You know the name, don’t you?” Sam’s lack of answer must have been enough for her to continue. “All those powers, you didn’t think they were natural, did you?”

“They tested a lot in the seventies and eighties,” Sam said through gritted teeth, pressing a hand to his temple, as a headache began. “I always thought it was an effect of that.” Every time he said a word or met Ava’s eyes, the pain worsened and it occurred to him that she was the one in control. He didn’t have the time to change the fated incident before her speech that he had seen began.

“I swear to God, you’re probably the most naive of the special children I’ve met.” The headache reached a piercing level, causing Sam to drop to the floor. Ava glared down at him. “I mean, I should know. Hell, out of all of the special children I went through, I’m the undefeated heavyweight champ. The only way out is up, so that’s where I went.”

Every word she said made some sort of hunger inside of him grow until, on impulse, he reached up and clawed across her arm. She winced, and as she reached to put her other hand across the deep gash, Sam grabbed her and pulled her down. He climbed behind her and wrapped his arm around her neck. His body was on autopilot. Again, he watched as a blue tint rose up on Ava’s face. As she struggled, Sam put his leg around her to keep her from moving. She grabbed at the arm that was around her throat. Eyes bugging out of her head until, nothing. Her arms dropped back down to the side, her eyes still open wide. When the elevator began to move again, he removed his arm slowly.

Before he had the chance to back away from the scene, he noticed it. Blood dripped down her arm and onto the floor. The itch underneath his skin worsened as he watched drop after drop fall. Sam didn’t waste time as he latched onto the deep gash, drinking in as much as he could. Finally, the effects that Ruby had promised began to kick in. In an instant, he felt stronger. Yet, so much less like himself. At that second, it didn’t matter to him. Nothing did. Even when the elevator doors opened he didn’t stop. Once he did look up, he saw Ruby. A pleased smile on her face.

“You can’t hear them anymore, can you?”

Sam scanned the room, meeting each pair of terrified eyes and disgusted looks.

But only his own thoughts filled his head.

He felt a laugh bubble out of his mouth. One that didn’t sound like it was coming from him.

“See kid,” Ruby said, kneeling down in front of him. “Killing. It was a rush wasn’t it?”

Sam nodded, unable to form words.

“That’s what control feels like. Now,” She stood back up, and motioned to the people all frozen in shock. “Make them forget all of this ever happened.”

He followed her in standing up. His eyes closed tightly as he lifted up his hand. There was a tug inside of his body, one that felt like it was a rope pulled taught, and with one more pull and he’d break completely. The chattering of the room began again, and the tug stopped. Once he opened his eyes, everyone on the floor was back to working. 

He looked over to Ruby, a large smile on his face. “Did I do that?”

She gave him a friendly nudge to his shoulder. “You sure did, dumbo.”

As he looked over the people, still covered in Ava’s blood, he noticed that the taught feeling was still there inside him.

One more pull…

 


	6. Date Night

One of the powers that Gabriel was so graciously gifted with was empathy. Why? He had no fucking clue. All he knew was that the same way that Sam got visions of the people he was close to, Gabe knew what they were feeling. The biggest  difference between the two, was the fact that Sam saw when people were dying. But, Gabriel?

He knew when people felt like dying.

Gabriel had almost forgotten the conversation he was having until he heard the gruff voice of the older Winchester once more. “I didn’t bring you here to daydream.”

He looked up  to be greeted with two very different looks. One angry, green eyes glowering down at him. The other, almost apologetic, blue eyes in a permanent confused frown. He remembered when that look first appeared on Castiel’s face. He said that if he kept doing that, it would stick that way. Looks like he was right.

“I wasn’t daydreaming,” Gabriel said with a shrug. “I was thinking. But, I guess you wouldn’t know too much about that, would you?”

Dean’s scowl deepened. “Just answer the damn question. Do you know where he is, or not?”

“Dean,” Cas said calmly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Maybe you should take a break. You know he’s not going to respond well to you. Let me try.”

Hesitantly, Dean left the two alone. Cas’ eyes lingered over Dean as he walked away. “They were supposed to get rid of emotion, too. Weren’t they?”

Gabriel didn’t risk answering. Castiel took that as a sign to keep talking. “Obviously, Father didn’t follow through with either of us. Azazel or Chuck,” He worried his bottom lip between his teeth before finally looking over to Gabe. “Dean says I still have no idea what love is. Says what I feel is infatuation, or I’m simply in awe of what he can do. He tries to push me away and I feel like I’m just angering him when I don’t leave.”

“You know I’m not your therapist, right?” Gabriel said after a moment. “I mean, I’m all up for mushy feelings shi-”

“You feel the same way about Sam.”

Neither of them said anything for a little bit too long. The air hung between them, too heavy to breath in. A feeling of nausea settled in Gabe’s gut. He hated talking about feelings more than anything since he had to feel too much. Sometimes, a guy just wants to block all of that out.

“You are infatuated with Dean. You’re like a friggin’ puppy. I don’t feel the same way about Sam. I mean, I miss him but, that’s it.”

“Do you want to protect him? Or even remain loyal to him despite whatever he does? No matter how wrong you think it is?” Gabe didn’t need to answer. “I guess that makes you the puppy.”

“Okay, yeah, I like the guy. A lot,” He said. “What does that have to do with finding him?”

“Like I said, when you love someone, you’re willing to do anything.” Cas reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper with a name written on it. Gabe took it from him, hesitantly and glanced over it. “You’re my brother, and I love you, but you block out the obvious so often. Especially when it’s something you don’t want to believe. Just find him, okay? Before anything worse happens.”

_-_

What Gabriel did, didn’t seem like something he would do; Completely out of his style. The abandoned diner, the knocked out guy tied to a chair. He was usually a little more flashy in his villainous ways. Dramatic and hilarious traps, catching people when they least expect it in the most ironic way possible. Hell, his style was so well known that in the Hunter comics that he was just seen as some filler, nothing to important happened when he was the villain. They did talk him up a little though. Some comic that was released trying to give him some tragic back story and to be considered more serious. He hadn’t seen it, but he was certain that most of it was just comic relief.

So, creepy and crappy diner it is. Even if it was only to get Sam’s attention.

“Look who’s finally coming to.” Gabe, no Trickster, said as he paced in front of his subject. “I was actually worried there for a second.”

The man, Jake Talley, blinked a few times before looking up at Trickster, a grimace on his face. “Where the hell am I?”

Trickster shrugged. “A diner. Don’t even get me started on why, that’s a long story,” He stopped in front of Jake and kneeled in front of him. “You’ve seen Saw, right?”

Jake nodded slowly, the glare not leaving his face. “Why?”

“‘Cause I wanted to play a little game with you. I ask you a few questions, and you tell me the answers. Right now, this place is invisible. And if I’m right, a guy by the name of Sam Winchester is looking for you.”

When Jake didn’t respond, Trickster took that as a sign to explain. “6’4”, floppy hair, I’m sure you’ve seen the guy. He’s not the best at stealth due to the whole stature thing. Anyway, he’ll have a harder time finding this place. But, he’ll be close. So, as soon as I snap my fingers, shield goes down, and I think you can figure out the rest.” Jake’s glare deepened, and Trickster smiled. “Careful, you’re face’ll freeze like that.”

“Ask the damn questions.”

Trickster shrugged. “If you say so. Why is Sam looking for you?” No answer. “Cat got your tongue already? C’mon Jake, you’re only making it worse on yourself.”

“He’s looking for me because of something I have.”

Trickster raised an eyebrow. “I get that much. But what is he looking for? And why do you have it?”

All of a sudden, the lights flicked off, only to come back on a few moments later. Gabe stared up at the light with worry. He could feel it. The mental wall he was holding up to hide him and Jake was slowly crumbling. “Already?” Trickster breathed. “Jake, you should probably spill now before-”

“I’m not leaving,” Jake interrupted, an accepting and surprisingly calm tone to his voice. “Sam and I are the last ones and I’m tired of all of this.”

“What do you mean?” Gabe asked.

“Azazel’s children.” Trickster’s breath caught in his throat. “Sam is the last one, besides me.”

It couldn’t be Azazel. Not his Azazel. He had died years ago, taking down all of his plans with him. Hell, he saw Chuck destroying most of the science that Azazel created. Chuck promised that everything “Azazel in essence” was gone. At least, he insisted that after he almost drowned on his brother’s command.

Trickster couldn’t get a full sentence out.“Oh, shit…” he said under his breath.

“You know the name?” Jake questioned.

“Yeah,” He shrugged. Another tremor of the walls. “I guess you could say that.”

“Wait,” Jake’s eyes widened in realisation. “Are you Gabriel? The Gabriel? You’re one of the last angels-”

“Don’t  presume to know who or what I am.” He said, trying to speak over him.

“-why are you wasting your time on Azazel’s Plan B?”

Instead of answering, Gabriel snapped. A rush of wind came through the diner and the bulbs bursted. “None of your beeswax, kid. But, it was nice knowing you.”

Quickly Gabriel walked towards one of the booths that faced away from the scene. As soon as he sat down, he heard the creaking sound of the door opening and heavy footsteps. There were a few whispers exchanged between Sam and Jake before he heard a loud crack and a thud. Gabriel winced and closed his eyes, despite not being able to see anything anyway. For a few moments, it was quiet. He heard Sam mumbling an apology to Jake, despite the fact it would do nothing. Once Gabriel composed himself, he left his hiding spot and walked towards Sam. 

“Long time no see.”

Sam looked over at him, not startled by Gabriel’s presence. He just looked confused.

“A trap? Really?” He asks, looking away from Gabriel’s eyes to look around the diner. “Did Dean put you up to this?”

“Yeah,” The lie slipped out far too easily, not willing the take the blame. “Sorry kid, but Dean’s just worried about you.”

“If he was really worried, he would have tried to find me himself.”

Gabe shrugged. “You know how he is. He’d scare you away.”

“I’m not as fragile as you think.”

“I never said you were fragile. I just said that Dean has a tendency to come on a little too strong.”

Sam opened his mouth to respond, but closed it almost as fast. His eyebrows furrowed together in what Gabe thought was the cutest thinking face in the world. “Was that a pun?”

A smile spread on his face. “What can I say? Crappy jokes are my specialty.”

This time, Sam smiled. Actually smiled. “I don’t know why I wasn’t expecting that.” 

“Don’t know why you weren’t either.” Gabe shrugged, “Since we’re here, do you want to catch up?”

It was a stupid request that Gabe thought would be pushed to the side with an uneasy laugh. He was surprised when Sam smiled at him again and went to wor k  on picking the lock on the fridge in the kitchen. He came back with two beers in his hand, condensation dripping from both of them.

They sat with their backs pressed against the cold exposed bricks for a while. Just sipping at the amber liquid, maybe cracking the occasional joke

“Nice costume, Trickster.”

“If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all, Sammy.”

“No, I’m serious. It’s like you decided to dress up as the Joker for Dapper Day.”

“Better than the tights?”

“Almost.” 

It almost felt like what they used to do. Yet, Gabe couldn’t help but feel that something was off. He looked to his side, Sam’s smiles were tight and he cut his laughter short. Another beat of silence and Sam looked towards the window right past Gabe’s ear, his eyebrows knitted together in thought. He hadn’t noticed Gabe’s gaze yet and continued to look out the frosted glass with a focused look in his eye. As Gabe stared, he tried to pick through all the times they had been together. Trying to figure out what could possibly be different. Then, it hit him.

“I can’t feel you anymore…” Gabriel said, not looking away from Sam.

“Good.” Sam responded as he picked up his drink once more and took a swig from it. “I can’t feel you anymore either.”

“It’s weird though,” Gabe ran a hand through his hair, pushing a few of the strays to the side. “I mean, you just killed a guy in cold blood.”

“You were the one who brought him here.” He still didn’t turn to look at Gabe. “You practically killed him when he walked through the door.”

For another moment, it was quiet, Gabe not finding the words to say, and Sam not willing to help him form another excuse.

“I am the villain after all,” Gabe said after a pause that was just a few seconds too long. “It’s sort of in my nature.”

“You’ve never really been the bad guy. Not to me. Not really to anyone.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean,” Sam said, only then did he look away from the window to meet Gabe’s eyes. “Yeah sure, people see you like that because they’re too busy being angry with you then to really take in your lesson.”

“Sorta like you?” The comment was unintentional on Gabe’s part. He was about to take it back as quickly as he said it before Sam spoke up again.

“Yeah,” He sighed, letting his head drop. “Sorta like me.”

“So, are you going to stop doing whatever the hell that was?” He gestured at the body that had been shoved to the side on the floor, eyes still blown wide open.

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

He lifted his head back up and looked at Gabe once more. “You know I still love you, right?”

Gabriel hesitated, not entirely sure how to respond. “I was hoping you would, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. What does that have to do with anything anyway?”

“Because I do still love you.” Sam continued. “I really do. And I want you to know that as soon as I learn how to control  _ this _ ,” He made a motion to his head. “I’m gonna come back. But, the only way I can control it is by doing things like hurting people because they have what I need and- Nevermind, you figured out your powers pretty fast. You wouldn’t understand how hard this is for me.”

“Only because I was practically made for this.” Gabriel sighed. “They were still experimenting when I came around. No Supers had really been born into it yet. So, a shit ton of science later, here I am.”

It was quiet again.

“I miss you.” Sam said. Another beat of silence. “I didn’t before. But now I’m really starting to miss you.”

“We’re talking right now.”

“Not what I meant.” Gabe felt Sam’s eyes on his body and a shiver ran down his spine. A bitter laugh came out of Sam. “I’m almost willing to let myself start to see you again but…”

“But what?” Gabe felt himself move closer to Sam. Their breath mingling with each other. He could even see the reflection of himself in Sam’s eyes. And yet, they didn’t risk touching. Not yet.

“I don’t want you to have to hear me again.” His voice cracked in the slightest. Just enough to hear the lump in his throat. It was almost like being able to feel it again. Being able to help him again. “Hell, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Especially not you.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” Gabriel said in a low whisper before pulling Sam’s face to meet his. Their lips were together so perfectly it was like they were two puzzle pieces. Finally finding the other again.

Then, it happened. Everything came crashing in on both of them. Piercing screams filled his head. Sam’s voice crying out that he’d never want to hurt him. Almost mantra like.

“ _ I can’t do this to him. I can’t do this to him. I can’t do this to him. _ ”

They both pulled away from the kiss immediately. Gabe felt his hands trembling, yet they wouldn’t stop cupping Sam’s face. The voices began to fade, yet they still lingered in the back of his mind. He could handle it the noises after they quieted down, but Sam was still living the worst of it.

His eyes were bloodshot and his face was a splotchy red. His entire body was in tremors and he kept mumbling under his breath.

“Sam,” Gabriel spoke frantically, trying to move closer to him “If I knew this would happen to you I wouldn’t have done it. I’m so sorry. Please forgive-”

“I won’t let it happen,” Sam said just above a whisper, his voice still shaking and his eyes staring off into space. “I swear I won’t. No matter what I do, I can’t stop seeing it.”

He moved his hands from Sam’s face, and immediately his own tremors stopped, while Sam’s worsened.

“I don’t know how to make it stop, Sam. I want to help but-”

“Just leave, and don’t tell anyone,” Sam forced out between chattering teeth. “I can handle this better on my own.”

“Sam, I-”

“Just. Leave.”

Gabriel stood up reluctantly and backed away from the scene. The last thing he saw of Sam was him with his head in his hands. Mumbling under his breath.

_ “I won’t let it happen. I won’t let it happen. I won’t let it happen.”  _

 

_-_   
  


Through lidded eyes, Sam could see blue and red lights flashing. The sound of sirens and panicked voices filled his ears, but no thoughts. At least, none that he could differentiate from ones actually being said aloud. He opened his eyes slowly to find himself sitting up in a leather seat and a seatbelt cutting across his chest. In the front seat, sat a man. Broad shoulders, knuckles turning white from gripping the steering wheel. The gruff and familiar voice coming from him was definitely Dean. He was speaking to a cop outside the window. Sam could only catch a few words, but he could tell they were talking about him.

“He’s a maniac.”

“That’s my brother you’re talking about.”

“He has kills under his belt.”

“So what? Everybody does in Macto. It’s kill or be killed. You know that.”

“Huntsman-”

“Officer Lafitte, please just let me take him home. I’ll figure out what happened.”

Once the cop left, Dean turned around in his chair to look at Sam. “What the hell did you do?”

Sam shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

“What? Is the fact that I had to save your half dead ass not obvious enough?”

“It’s fuzzy, I don’t remember.”

“Oh really? Something that happened three hours ago?”

Dean’s words echoed in Sam’s head. Each syllable getting mixed up with others. “Three hours?” Sam asked trying to focus. “What time is it?”

Dean huffed and turned back around in his seat before starting the car. “Just go to sleep, Sam.”

The sentence sparked a memory from decades ago. His eyes began to droop, but he forced himself to stay awake just a little bit longer. “You never told me what other power you had.”

“You said that it was mind control.”

“Yeah, I did.” Sam sunk into his seat and let his head drop back. “But I’m starting to think it’s worse than just that.”

“Because I told you to go to sleep?”   
“Because for a second I thought you really did care about someone other than yourself.”

_-_

 

His entire body ached, but his head was the worst. There was a thumping at the nape of his neck that just wouldn’t stop. Anytime he closed his eyes his head would spin. An itch ran itself under his skin, up and down his veins. It occurred to Sam that his body was craving the blood again. Ruby had said that his addiction might get worse, but he didn’t think it’d be that bad. He made a move to sit up, only to be stopped abruptly, almost pulling his shoulder out of place. Sam yanked again, looking over at his arm to see that it was strapped down with a leather belt.

“It’s for the best, Sammy.” The voice came from the door. Sam looked over to see his brother leaning against the door frame.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Sam huffed as he let himself drop back down onto the bed.

“I didn’t want to do this,” Dean took a few steps closer. “Do you know how close you were to getting caught doing whatever the hell that was?”

“What do you mean? You were the one who put Gabe up to it.” Dean just looked confused and Sam’s heart sank. The anger he was feeling melted into betrayal. “You told Gabe to do that, right? You were just trying to get me back and you sent him.”

Dean shook his head. “I tried, but the bastard wouldn't do it. Cas must’ve talked to him. He asked if they could talk alone and when I came back, Gabe was gone.” Dean walked back towards the door. “When this whole mental breakdown thing is done, call me.”

Sam couldn’t find any other words to say as the door shut behind his brother. A growl bubbled out of his throat as he yanked at the restraints once more. His breath became ragged and he balled his fist so hard that his nails began to cut through the skin of his palms. A headache ground itself into his temples, causing him to screw his eyes shut.  His mind was simultaneously silent and screaming. Everything was so loud, and yet, there were no voices. Could it be his own? Was he finally cracking? Or, even worse, had he already?

“Sam, focus.” He forced through gritted teeth. “You’re fine. You’re in control. You can stop. Focus, focus, focus.”

He tightened his fists. He could do this. He knew he could. All Sam had to do was find a focal point. That wasn’t hard. He’d done that hundreds of times. Anytime he was losing himself he would always focus on…

Gabe

“Don’t,” Sam said to himself. “Not him. Not anymore.” Gabriel was out of the running, despite the fact that he would always help. Sam yanked at his restraints again, this time loosening them just enough to remove his hands and feet. The angry red marks on his arm from the rope didn’t compare to the pain in his head. It throbbed without ceasing, his senses were thrown off, and his stomach was doing somersaults. Sam stumbled towards the full length mirror and put his hands on the glass in an attempt to regain some balance. He leaned closer, and pressed his head to the cold mirror. Hoping that it would cool down the raging fever that had begun. He took a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Sam forced himself to stand on his own, and look at his reflection. “Calm down,” He said through a breath.“Calm down, calm-” Sam cut himself off with a shake of his head. “No, that’s what Dean would want you to do. He was the one who got you in this mess in the first place. This is  _ his _ fault.” He growled, then stopped again immediately, his voice and body language changing.

“He tried to help me,” His voice shook, almost was childlike. He didn’t sound like himself. His reflection blurred, then melted into a younger image of himself. “He tried to help _ us _ .”

The words no longer felt like they came from him. His reflection looked up at him with large sunken black eyes. The reflection’s shirt was torn open. A large angry scar covered its chest. One that curled down the side of his ribs and still flamed red despite how it old it looked. One that was  _ his _ own. The scar was the reminder of how his mother died. He forced himself to look away from it.

“Dean never helped me.”

“Well, you didn’t help yourself either,” The reflection’s voice echoed. That was the voice he had been hearing. It overlapped Sam’s own voice with one of a young child, and another of an old man. “You brought this upon yourself. Everything that you’ve done led to this. You’re broken, Sam. One of the misfit toys that just don’t sell.”

Sam opened his mouth to speak again, instead the reflection’s voice poured out. “ _ You _ let people treat you like shit.   _ You _ let the populous treat you like some second hand hero. _ You _ let Dean treat you like a puppet.  _ You _ let our mother die.  _ You _ let yourself think Gabe ever loved you!”

“He did,” Sam said, his own voice that time. “He does-”

“If he did,” The reflection leaned forward, meeting Sam’s eyes. “Why isn’t he getting you out of this room?”

“I told him to leave.”

“Oh,” His reflection stood straight again, his voice carried a taunting tone. “You’re right. You let him leave. Another strike on the Sam Winchester fuck up list.”

Sam pushed himself off of the mirror and turned around. “Good news for you, despite all of that, it’s not too late.” The voice said.

“How?”

“Take control. That’s what you wanted in the first place, right? That’s what we always wanted! We had to sleep through our fucking life because you’re brother was to scared to deal with you. Start with him.”

There was the sound of a blowing wind in Sam’s mind before it went absolutely silent. His fever dissipated, and the headache was gone, as were the voices. For the first time ever, he was at peace. 

Sam waited a moment, expecting them to start again, but none did. “It was my fault,” Sam mumbled under his breath. “But I can fix this. Even if it is one person at a time.” He took a deep breath and stood up straight. A simple glance to the door caused it to swing open, the knob hitting the wall so hard that it went through. Sam walked into the hallway and down the stairs. 

The hunters sat around the war table, as they always did. Once they saw that Sam had come down the stairs, they exchanged worried glances. “Sam,” Cas was the first one to talk. His voice held a forced gentle tone. It oozed with fake optimism, which angered Sam even more. “You should go back up. Try to cool down a little.”

“Why would I need to do that?” Sam asked, tilting his head to the side. “Still think I’m unstable? Hell, I’ve never felt better. No visions, no voices,” He made a waving motion with his hand. “Nothing.”

“Sam, go back upstairs. Sleep it off.” Dean insisted. God, Sam hated those words.

“Sleep it off? Really?” He scoffed. “You’ve been saying that to me ever since I got my powers. You can’t control me when I’m awake. Just a little too  _ reckless. _ ”

“I never-”

“And you know what. He’s probably done the exact same thing to all of you. The guy’s a fucking dictator, you all know that already. I wouldn’t even be surprised.”

Sam looked over at Echo. It was Charlie not Celeste. He could tell with one look. Her eyes were wide and she actually looked like she was about to jump up and say. “You guys shouldn’t fight. Fighting is bad, remember? We’re the good guys.”

It was her default argument for everything. Sam almost didn’t want to tell her. But what he was about to say would help.

“Dean made you kill before,” She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it immediately. “Celeste was out of commission. Even though you both were hit hard, she was a little worse for wear. Any of us could have taken care of that bastard, but Dean made you do it. Because  _ Celeste would have wanted closure.  _ You had nightmares for weeks. Who’s fault is that?

She didn’t answer

“Or Kevin. Remember, we were in that demon’s den when you first started? Your mom was there, because she wanted to keep an eye out for you.”

“Yeah I know, I was there,” Kevin bit back. “She was killed.”

“No, she was kidnapped,” Kevin’s eyes went wide. “She’s still alive. We know exactly where she is but, Dean won’t let us do a recovery mission because he know’s you’ll lose the fire you were picking up. You’re more useful to him angry.”

“Sam,” Dean’s voice carried a warning tone to it. 

“And Cas,” Sam turned towards him.  “God, that list goes on.”

“Get out,” Dean spoke up again.

“No, he needs to hear this. You do the exact same thing to Cas that you do to me. When you first met him, knew you couldn’t control him. The guy was a soldier, but really robotic. All he knew was that he wanted to stay with us because all the other angels went rogue and he didn’t want to be like them. He pretty much thought he owed a life debt to our dad, too.”

“Sam, please,” That time it was Cas speaking. “You don’t need to keep going.”

“I’m not stopping,” Sam said. “Dean, you practically brainwashed him. He was fucking terrified and you turned him into a war mach-”

“Sam!” Dean shouted, his voice echoed through the room and down the hall. The name repeated multiple times back from the rafters. He looked around, noticing how nobody but Sam would meet his eyes.

“Sam, listen to me,” Dean spoke again. His tone much more gentle and sounding as if he was begging for forgiveness. “I have done nothing to hurt you. Or any of you. I never would. I’d fucking die before I let anything happen to you guys.”

“Well, then you’re a little late,” Sam said, looking Dean directly in the eyes, knowing that it was the moment from his vision weeks ago. “How about we start catching up.”

“Go, Sam,” Dean said. His voice still to silent, still too shaky. His walls were crumbling. “Please. I don’t want to do this right now.”

“Dean-” Sam said, he almost wanted to take everything back.

“Go.”

Sam looked around all of them.  _ This is my fault, isn’t it _ ? He thought to himself.  _ I messed up again. Why did I let myself do that? _

“Fine.” Sam said then turned around to leave. His body felt like it was on autopilot from the moment he stepped out the door. His mind was entirely checked out, for the better. He didn’t have anywhere to go, so he just walked. At least, until he ran into a short woman with dark hair and a permanent smirk.

“We gotta stop meeting like this, Dumbo.”


	7. Blue Veins, Black Eyes

Ruby greeted him with a smile. “Either way, we’ve been looking for you. You went off the radar for awhile. Impressive. Staying at Hotel Hunter was probably a bad idea if you wanted to stay away from us, though.”

Sam was almost tempted to ask who “we” or “us” was, but let it go. Anything was better than where he was. There was to many thoughts at the bunker, he could hear every single little thought and his head had begun to throb. Being with her was better. “Why didn’t you come get me sooner?”

“You needed to figure it out yourself. Honestly, it was kind of hot the way you hulked out of that one.”

“Why did I need to do it myself?”

Ruby glanced over her shoulder, kind smile turning into the mischievous smirk that he began to expect from her. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” She said, instead of answering his question. “He’s been talking about you nonstop since I told him I found you.”

“Okay. Tell me who it is.” Sam said, he felt himself posturing, like he was trying to intimidate her.

Her eyebrows knit together as she looked back up at him. “Someone’s in a bad mood.” 

“I just want to get this over with.”

Ruby nodded. “Fine, if that’s what the boy king wants, that’s what the boy king gets.”

The nickname took him off guard at first, but again, he decided it better not to ask any questions. Sam followed her through the chilly streets, only focusing on what was in front of him. He didn’t hear anymore voices, and for a moment he was happy, grateful even. Then, the silence kicked in. At first, it felt nice. Not being able to hear anything besides his own thoughts, the wind, and the sound of cars driving by. But, the longer it went, the more it nagged at him.

The only difference between chaos and maddening silence for him was that he didn’t feel that tug in him anymore. Whatever his mind was trying to hold onto was gone. He just wasn’t sure whether to revel in the fact that the tether had left or not. Perhaps it was for the better.

Sam shook his head, trying to snap himself out of his own thoughts. He thought silence would help with focus, but if anything it made it worse. He fished for his cell phone and a pair of ear buds in his pocket when Ruby stopped walking and turned towards him.

“Why’d you stop?” Sam asked as he abandoned the music, tucking it back into his pocket.

“We’re here,” She said nonchalantly. “But I can’t open it.”   
He looked over at the building in confusion. The security seemed low besides a scanner right near the door. He walked over to the scanner and looked it over. It was a metallic gray, not quite silver, with a screen over it and a small container of needles to the side. The screen was black with green words flashing over it . Words he couldn’t quite read.

“It’s in Enochian.” Ruby said as she stepped behind him, as if she had read his mind. “Secret language that your dad and his band of merry men used to use. After he and his Generation One hunters faded out, we picked it up.”

Sam squinted, still trying to catch at least a few symbols that the screen flashed. “I thought it was supposed to be language of the angels.”

In his peripheral vision, he saw Ruby flinch at the mention of angel. Before he had the chance to ask her about it, she spoke. “Just open the damn door.”

“You never told me how.”

“It’s a blood scanner.” Ruby said as she grabbed Sam’s hand. She turned his hand over and reached for one of the needles before pricking his thumb. As the dark crimson liquid leaked out of Sam’s hand, he felt his entire body run cold, and his mouth began to water. The same reaction that he had the first time he saw Ava’s blood dripping onto the floor of the elevator. Or even Jake’s cracked skull against the counter in the abandoned diner. He was hungry for it. The realisation made him feel nauseous

Ruby must have noticed his reaction, for she grabbed him by the chin and forced him to look at her. “Listen kid, you want to get better, right?” Sam nodded, unable to do much else due to the grip she had. “Sacrifices need to be made for the better. You’re not just doing this for your brother, or me, or even Gabriel. You’re doing this for you. You want to be in control.”

“I want to be in control.” Sam mimicked. The words came out without much thought. He found himself turned towards the scanner, thumb pressed hard against it. The doors beeped then slid open. He looked over at Ruby, his eyes suddenly feeling heavy.   
“Look at that, Sammy. It’s all you.”

_-_

Dean called him over when everything happened, but when Gabe arrived, the Hunters were just sitting in the war room, blank or tired expressions on their faces. All except Dean, who paced back and forth, mumbling to himself.

Kevin sat at the far edge of the table. He looked as if he was trying to read the book in front of him, but his eyes couldn’t quite focus on the words. Next to him was Charlie. She had fused with Celeste, leaving only the curly haired, usually happy counterpart behind. She held a pack of ice to her eye and occasionally would move it from her eye to her swollen lip. Then, there was Cas. He sat at the head of the table, a seat where Dean or Sam would usually sit. He twisted side to side in the chair unconsciously as he just stared off, not even looking in Dean’s direction.

Just with a look Gabe could tell all that had happened, but he couldn’t bring himself to speak as he looked at them.

“Bad day, fellas?” He finally said as he descended the stairs to meet with them. His comment only got a small glance up from Kevin in response. The other’s didn’t react.

“Care to elaborate?” Gabe spoke up again, hoping to get a bigger response this time.

“Sam left,” Cas said, only sparing a sideways glance at Gabe before looking back at nothing. “What else is there to elaborate on. You got the call. Of course, unless Dean lied about that too.”

“Cas, I didn’t-” Dean started, but Castiel cut him off as he stood up from the chair.

“I’m not…” He took a deep breath. “I don’t  _ think _ I’m angry. I’ve never been really good at the human expanse of emotion. That was more of Gabriel’s territory.” Cas’ piercing eyes landed on Gabe and he felt a chill run down his spine. No wonder Cas was dad’s favorite. He was the exact soldier he wanted the others to turn into: Cool, intimidating, and hard with just one look. But, it had been a while since he has last seen that Cas.

“Okay, I get it. None of you want to talk,” Gabe said. “But this is my boyfriend we’re hunting down. How are we gonna round him up and get him back to normal?”  _ Or as normal as he could really feel after losing all of his marbles _ . Gabe thought.

“There’s a tracker in his phone. So, as long as he has that on him then we should be able to find him.” Dean said as he leaned against the war table. When he got suspicious looks from Charlie and Kevin, he sighed and folded his arms over his chest. “Before you ask, yes I have tracking on all of your phones. And obviously that has come in handy.”

“You’re micromanaging us,” Kevin said. “We’re superheros and it’s not like we’re gonna get hurt that easy. No reason to track our every move.”

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but Cas interrupted. “That may be so, but he’s just worried. We’re all he has. Neither of you know how he reacted when his father didn’t come home. Or how he felt when his mom went to check on Sam and she never came back down. You have all the right in the world to be suspicious of what Dean does, even I was scared of what he was doing but, he just needs a little control. He’s in the same boat as Sam, there. The two of them have the world on their shoulders constantly, of course they might snap or do something so it feels like they actually have a little control. Dean with his powers and Sam with exposing them.”

A silence filled the room, but the tension was still so high it made Gabe’s chest hurt.

Dean took a deep breath before speaking. “Kev, track down Sam’s phone and give Gabe the address when you’re done.”

Kevin nodded, no fight in him at all this time. “Yes, sir.” He got out of his chair and motioned for Gabe and Charlie to follow him. As they left the war room, Gabe looked over his shoulder to see Dean sitting back down in his chair with his head in his hands and Cas sitting on the table, rubbing Dean’s back, mumbling something that he couldn’t quite catch from the distance.

Seeing them together made the distance between he and Sam had hurt even more.

_-_

The first thing that Sam noticed about the warehouse they had entered was the smell. Smoke clung to the walls and the carpet. The smell nauseated him and reminded him of his mother in the worst way possible.Not even even one, he didn’t remember anything of that night. Anything but the smell. The smoke had filled his lungs with every breath until all that came in and out was carbon dioxide and flecks of burnt paint from the wall. Even almost thirty years later his chest still ached if he breathed a little too deep.

They stopped in front of a steel door. Ruby reached out and ran her hand over it, looking as if she was following a specific pattern. Once her hand was back down to her side, the door creaked open. What was inside aged the place more than the smokey, 1970s, carpet did. The colors on the wall were a little too bright and the furniture looked a little too bold. The shag carpet ran throughout the room. For a moment, Sam believed that they walked into the wrong room. At least, until he saw the burnt marks that scattered the walls. His amused suspicion faded into solidarity.

“That’s impressive, kid. You weren’t even born yet and you can tell exactly what happened here with a look.” Sam looked down to see a man standing in front of him. Besides his close stature to Sam’s own, the first thing he noticed were the burns on his face. They looked as if they had occurred from the inside out. The wounds started on the man’s brow bone and trailed down, past his eye and ending on his cheek bone. Each burn looked like a cigarette had been pressed hard against his skin repeatedly, none fully healing over. The wounds looked just a little too familiar for comfort.

“Sam,” Ruby said from behind him. “That’s Lucifer. He’s your new boss.”

“Oh on the contrary,” Lucifer said, smirking just like Ruby. “He’s the big dog here.”

Ruby’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean we won’t be needing you anymore.”

She shook her head in confusion, “No, but you said-”

“I know exactly what I said,” Lucifer stepped away from Sam and walked closer to Ruby. He leaned down to meet her eyes. “You’re done here, sweetheart. And I’m thankful. But that’s all you’re getting from me.”

Ruby looked like she wanted to say something in response, but when she opened her mouth no words came out. She sighed in defeat and walked out of the room, the door closing with a slam behind her.

“There,” Lucifer said as he turned back to Sam. “As I was saying, you’re the head honcho now. Any questions? I promise to be honest.”

“Why did John die here?” Sam found himself saying before he even had the chance to think.

“Because he was too close to the research. As soon as my little brother’s locked eyes with them, they got the message in HQ. Then they lit him up.”

“What is this place?” Sam asked. “Science lab? Army base?”

Lucifer answered with a small shrug. “We like to call it the land of misfit toys.”

“Half truths doesn’t count as honesty.”

“But I’m not lying.”

“Tell me, now.”

The older man scoffed at Sam. “You’re taking this leader thing with stride, aren’t you?”

“Answer the damn question.”

“It’s a mix of both. It started off more as an army base. You’ve heard of the Angels project, right?”

Sam nodded. “Who hasn’t? Engineering super soldiers by taking them away from their parents and putting them through tests that were so brutal that the child could combust,” Suddenly, the burns on Lucifer’s face made sense. “Allergic reaction?”

Lucifer nodded. “And you?”

“Only when I was six months.” The rash that ran right underneath his ribs began to sting. Sam lifted his shirt up to the rash slowly, the cool air of the room helped the sting fade slightly.

“Looks like you and I have more in common than you thought. Both our daddies are long gone, barely knew our mothers, the voices in our heads, older brothers being absolute dicks,” Lucifer looked at the marks, then met Sam’s eyes. “Anymore questions?”

“No.” Sam’s voice rasped out as he put his shirt back down.

“Good, now I’ve got a business proposition for you. How would you like those voices to leave? Or better yet, not have all that weight on your shoulders. No more begging, no more knowing more than you should. And to top it all off, no more visions.”

Sam didn’t hesitate. “How?”

“You’re one of the only ones who were a part of the successful second generation. Even if it was with a small boost from my father, it’s in your blood. You don’t react to it anymore, all the others did. Ava went rabid, Jake was practically a dead man walking before you cleaned up the mess. Whatever the hell that you have in you, we need to get to other people. They can clean up the mess, so you don’t have to.”

“People could die,” Sam forced himself to say. The fact that it didn’t come out on it’s own worried him. The fact that he had to force himself to have a conscious was even worse. The idea of peace sounded too good to be true. “The reactions are way to extreme, ten percent of the population would die before they even hit the ground.”

“Okay then,” Lucifer said. “Let’s say that ten percent do die. A thousand people out of the million in the city. That’s nothing compared to the billions that your heroes would be saving, Sam.”

“Billions?” Sam asked, a small quiver in his voice. Lucifer nodded. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

He shrugged. “Don’t really know if you can with all the freedom fighters around.”

“The Hunters?” Sam forced his voice to regain some steadiness. “They’re way too unorganized right now.  They’re not doing anything anyway, I don’t see why I’d need to-”

“I don’t mean them, Boy King. I mean the Angels. Still a few around besides me. Including Cas and little old, Gabriel. It looks like Ruby did her job right, how about you prove it.”

Sam didn’t miss that tug that was holding him back. In fact, he felt so much better on his own. Finally his own thoughts.

“Yes, sir.”

_-_

 

The warehouse hadn’t changed since he left. The code was in enochian and the smokey smell still lingered the air. He stopped in front of the door of what once was the “Nursery.” The room where he spent two thirds of his life. All the memories of taking care of Cas, watching Lucifer and Michael fight, then of course there were all their brothers and sisters who had come and gone. Even after Cas’ perfect result, the death toll kept rising, albeit much slower thanks to Chuck’s changes. He couldn’t change them back, so he kept creating. Bad idea, but it was hard to stop one who was practically a god from creating.

Gabriel pressed a hand to the door, dragging it along the cold metal in a very specific pattern, praying that it would still open to his touch. For a moment, there was nothing. No movement, no sirens, no attack dogs. Then, the door creaked open ever so slowly. He took a hesitant step into the room and let go of the breath he didn’t realise he was holding.

“Lucy, I’m home!” Gabriel sing songed, forcing everything he could not to show the smallest amount of fear in his voice or face.

His brother turned around and looked at him. Lucifer’s smile sent shivers down his spine, but Gabriel didn’t back down. “There you are little brother.” Lucifer said. “For a second I thought you wouldn’t show up. Here to hug it out or do you want to hear my “evil” plan?”

For a moment, Gabriel wasn’t entirely sure what to say. He expected to be met with rage from his brother, like he almost always had. Yet, for some reason, he was calm. Too calm. Either way, he decided it best to play along.

“Hugs are nice, but I think I’d like to stick to the latter.”

Lucifer nodded and clasped his hands behind his back before walking closer to him. “If you say so.I wouldn’t really call it evil, though. More ingenious than anything. You remember what Dad’s goal was when making up the Angels?”

“He wasn’t my dad,” Gabriel blurted. “But keep going.”

“We were supposed to be an army. One to protect everyone.”

“It would have been great if it worked, but our brothers and sisters died, Luce.” The nickname slipped out, but he didn’t have time to correct himself before his brother continued talking.

“They were weak!” His voice echoed off the walls, the anger that Gabriel was so familiar with finally returning. “Why would you care anyway? You left the moment you could and you took the only advancement that our father made before he was killed with you.”

“Azazel isn’t my father, stop saying he is. And I took Cas away to protect him from you and people like you. The kid was unstable! I couldn’t  _ trust _ you having-” Gabe cut himself off mid-sentence when it hit him. “Oh God,” His voice quavered. “You’re using Sam to finish what Azazel started.”

Lucifer smiled slyly and clapped slowly. “Nice deduction, Sherlock. I’ll admit, I thought it would take you a little longer.”

His throat felt like it was closing in. He could barely breathe and he felt like the temperature in the room dropped. “You almost got Sam killed in your goddamned hunger games, and for what?” Gabe asked, doing everything in his power not to claw his brother’s throat. “Some unresolved daddy issues? Nobody cares if he didn’t give you enough hugs. He’s dead, Lucifer. He’s dead and you’re risking Sam’s life over something so stupid.”

“I’m helping him, Gabriel.” Lucifer said, his voice dropping to a gentle whisper. “He was the one who didn’t want to hear anybody anymore. If the people can save themselves, then he doesn’t need to anymore.”

“Where is he?”

“Hell, you don’t need to save him anymore either, little brother.”

“Where. Is. He?” Gabriel growled out the last word. His blood practically boiled.

“Rooftop,” Lucifer finally said turning around to busy himself with something else in the room. Lucifer looked over his shoulder back at Gabriel. “No real use, though. You’re probably too late.”

_-_

As soon as the rush of the cold wind hit Gabriel through his thin coat and he saw Sam’s silhouette a mere five feet ahead of him, he sensed that he was too late. Sam seemed well enough. He was standing on his own, better than he could say for just a day before.

“I know you’re there.” Sam said, not turning around.

Gabe took a deep breath before he walked closer to Sam. “What happened to you not being able to feel me anymore, kiddo?”

Sam glanced back at him, an eyebrow arched. “I said that I missed being able to feel you. Can’t right now though. You’re just a loud breather.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Feeling you? God no, it’s easier like this.”

Gabriel worked up the strength to walk around him and meet his eyes. He regretted it as soon as he did. Sam’s eyes were glazed over. He looked as if he was having difficulty focusing on anything, especially meeting Gabriel’s eyes. “Luce already got to you, didn’t he?”

Sam held Gabe’s eyes for a second before directing them somewhere else above his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Gabriel may not have been able to pierce the walls that Sam put up around himself, but he figured out enough without the powers. Sam was practically a mirror that was dropped onto the floor and hurriedly glued together. They both knew exactly what happened to Sam. The man needed a break, and ended up with only a few precious moments that resulted in him trying to duct tape himself together. Gabriel would have helped. “I love you.” He found himself saying in a low voice.

Sam looked at him, the only time he held the eye contact for more than a few seconds. The sun had fallen, his eyes held the moon’s reflection. “You saw it, when I was-”

“Breaking?” Gabriel said, the word unintentionally spilling out.  

“I wouldn’t call it that.” Sam said. “More waking up than anything else. Anyway, you saw it, right? What I was seeing?” Gabe nodded. “Well, it’s gone. Finally. Which makes what I’m about to do a little bit easier.”

“Makes what a little easier?”

“You really need that answered?” Sam took a step closer, simultaneously, Gabe took a step back. His heel hitting the ledge of the rooftop. For a moment, he lost his balance and his hand found itself clinging onto Sam’s sleeve.

“You’re just making this worse on both of us, Gabe.” Sam tried to pull his arm away, but Gabe only clung harder. “This is for the best. I can’t have you around. You’re too distracting.”

“This isn’t you, Sam,” Gabriel said, grasping onto Sam’s sleeve, not looking at the concrete below. “I know it isn’t. I  _ know _ you.”

The words must’ve hit a nerve. For a moment, Sam looked panicked. His eyes were blown wide, as if those words triggered some memory. For a moment, he actually looked more like “Sam” than he had in the past few weeks. Milliseconds later, the reaction disappeared, replaced with one that didn’t carry any sort of emotion. Gabriel tried to dig deeper, trying to find what Sam’s next move would be.

“I’m sorry, Gabe,” Sam whispered. Gabe could barely hear him over the rush of the wind in his ears. “I really am. But you don’t know anything about me.” He pulled his arm away and Gabriel’s breath left his body as he fell.


	8. Implosion

Drowning and falling felt more similar than Gabriel had expected. Both resulted in his heart beating in his throat. Both had his breath yanked away from him. Both had him looking up and seeing someone standing over him while he would think, “Why the fuck would you do that to me?”

He didn’t have a chance to think anything else past that before the reflexes that were practically programmed into him took flight. Literally.

He felt something in between his shoulderblades tear and his entire body began to feel like it was on fire. His breath was pulled out of his lungs as he felt himself shoot upwards, the ground moving farther and farther away. Gabriel’s wings. The exact part of him that he had been denying since he was a child. His heart pounded in his ears at he attempted to get a hang of it. Despite his lack of practice, it was like riding a bike. The wings moved as if they were truly apart of him, not something that was forced onto his body at a young age. His memory and the movement made his stomach start to roll.

“Gabe, you’re fine,” He breathed. “Main goal, don’t throw up. Then focus on landing.”

He slowed his flight down so he would be descending slower. Once his feet reached the ground, the metal wings forced themselves back into him, burning the skin around the re-opened slits. He scanned his surroundings, hoping that no one had seen. Only a few people wandered the streets, as most people would be at home at that hour. Then again, he wasn’t exactly most people either. They didn’t seem to notice, and if they did, they didn’t entirely care. 

Gabriel looked back up at the building, Sam wasn’t there anymore. As soon as Gabriel fell, he must’ve left.

“Too bad, Samsquatch, you missed quite the show.” Gabriel mumbled under his breath before he began his walk home. 

It wasn’t a long walk, hell he only lived a few blocks away. He couldn’t make himself move too far away from the place he had grown up. Despite that, he almost wished he  _ had  _ chosen some place farther to move, especially when his eyes caught the rooftop that he was just on only minutes before.

He shook his head and forced himself to look down, only to be greeted with all the mess that he had yet to clean. When Sam first moved in, he cleaned when he was nervous or had one of his bad days. The place would be spotless and yet Sam still figured out something to fix. He once told Gabe that cleaning for him was almost like starting anew. It didn’t seem like it would hurt to try, so Gabe decided he would. It was only about midnight so he could start somewhere and figure the rest out another day. Well, that is if Lucifer’s Super plan didn’t come to plan as quickly as he thought it would.

He walked through the mess, kicking stray items out of the way, trying to figure out where he might start. Every step he took felt like he was stepping over a memory or kicking one to the side.

“Fuck it,” Gabe mumbled under his breath. “I’ll start from the back.”

He toed his way around the miscellaneous items and almost made it to the far wall when he stepped on something. He took a step back to see a balled piece of paper. He picked it up and began to flatten it out against his leg. It was an article from a year ago that showed both his face and Sam’s on it. Each wore full Super gear, with large grins on their faces despite them being in the middle of fighting each other. Sam was aiming a handgun at Gabe, but his stance was off. His arms were bent slightly and he was hunched over a little. He looked to the other side of image to see himself, pointing finger guns at Sam. The Title under the picture read:  Trickster and Visum: Macto’s New Power Couple?

He remembered when Sam first found the article. They had only been together for a month at the time.

 

_ “How does Tisum sound for name for us?” Gabriel joked, nudging Sam in the ribs as he handed the paper back to him. “Or maybe Vickster?” _

_ Sam smiled. His eyes sparkled with the swinging light above them. “Gabe, think about it. If they know-” _

_ “It’s not like we’re trying to hide it.” Gabriel interrupted. _

_ “Actually, we kind of are. If Dean finds out that we’re together he’ll kill you.” _

_ “I don’t get why he doesn’t like me?” Gabe shrugged, leaning back into the couch and putting his hands behind his head. “I mean, your dad saved me, so I must be at least a little special in the eyes of a Winchester.” _

_ “Yeah well, you’re special to me.” Sam laid his head on Gabriel’s shoulder. The movement was awkward, but sweet. Sam stood nearly a foot taller, but he still managed to make himself seem smaller. _

_ “Did we just have a moment, or are you quoting some Hallmark movie?” _

_ “Oh man, you caught me being sensitive.” Sam said sarcastically. “What am I ever to do?” _

_ “Don’t freak out too much about it Samsqautch,” Gabriel moved closer, infringing on Sam’s space. “I like sensitive guys.” _

_ “Tisum.” He whispered, breathing in Gabe’s air. _

_ “What?” _

_ “Our couple name. Tisum rolls off the tongue.” _

_ “Yeah, but Vickster is sexier.” _

_ “Should we really come out to the public?” He asked. “Your publicist will hate you.” _

_ “Kali will live. Now, stop interrupting, you’re a lot hotter when you don’t over think.” _

 

Gabriel found himself smiling at the picture. It was one of the better memories to stumble upon. They were young and optimistic.  Nobody else saw what they were going to become but them. Gabriel’s feelings started early, which means Sam’s visions must have started even earlier. He remembered when the touches stopped. It had gotten so bad that they were practically starved from each other. So they dove back in, a little too fast. They both broke down that time. Breaking almost became a joke between the two of them.

 

They both said break because put them on equal footing. In reality, Sam broke in a blaze of glory. Tears, pictures blown off the walls, screaming at everything to shut the fuck up. His initial reaction was purely physical. He rampaged like an animal, acting on impulse 24/7. The mental break came in, flooding his head with hundreds of visions and thoughts.

 

_ “Gabe don’t touch me! I swear to God!” _

 

Gabriel was the opposite. He kept it to himself, as he was able to feel them coming for days before they happened. He would crumpled down on himself while alone. Mental was first, making sure he remembers each and every little thing that happened that cause that exact moment. It was always his fault. Physical followed mental, his legs buckled and he’d be out for a hours, if not a few days. 

 

_ “I’m just trying to fix this, Sam. Okay? Listen to me. You’ve gone through shit like this before. We can make it through.” _

 

The relationship had its rough patches of course. All relationships do. Gabe wouldn’t say theirs were just worse. Just a little more intense. 

 

_ “You don’t get it, do you? This is your fault!” _

 

Gabe’s head spun. He should’ve known better. He always got stuck in the past. Always tried to fix things. They don’t work.

 

_ “I didn’t do anything!” _

 

He felt his knees hit the floor. His vision darkening.

 

_ “You did  _ _ everything _ _! It’s over. I’m done with all of this. I don’t want to see you anymore Gabe. I can’t see you anymore.” _

 

Sam’s voice rung in his ear. “I won’t let it happen. I won’t let it happen.”

 

_ “Sam-” _

 

Sam explodes. But Gabe,

 

_ “I’m. Done.” _

 

He implodes.


	9. The Boy King

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this initial plan was for this to be the last chapter. But it was just beginning to get out of hand and was way to long. I'd just like to apologize to all the people running the Sabriel big bang for how long it's taking me to post this. I haven't had the internet, computer, or privacy to be able to post it until recently. But, don't worry. The last chapter will be out soon enough

 

“Lollipop, Lollipop. Oh Lolli Lolli Lolli…”

Gabriel opened his eyes slowly, greeted with the Chordettes snapping coming from somewhere on his hip and a small drool puddle that formed on the ground near the corner of his lips.

“Call my baby lollipop. Tell you why, his kiss is sweeter than an apple pie.”

He swore under his breath as he used his arms to push himself up. He hadn’t gotten any cleaning done at all. Half of him just wanted to torch the place or move out leaving all of it there. The sunlight shined through the window, disorienting him.

“What time’sit?” He said to no one in particular as he took his cell phone out of his pocket. The closer the phone was, the louder the music played. Yet, it didn’t hit him that it was even his phone until his vision cleared up enough to read the screen.

_ Little Brother calling. Three missed calls from Little Brother.One text from Little Brother _

Gabriel glanced at the top of the screen to see that it was five o’clock in the morning. He answered the phone hesitantly with a small hum instead of a hello.

“Gabriel, I have been calling you for hours. Where are you?” Cas asked into the phone.

“I’m at home,” He grumbled as he sat up fully. “And if this is about Sam I don’t want to talk about it. I think what ever Lucifer and Sam’s plan can’t be bad enough to destroy the human race. We could all just let it blow over.”

“Please take this seriously. And no, I know what happened to Sam already. You don’t need to go over it.” Castiel’s voice went quiet, almost shaken. “Our  _ brother _ already did that for you.”

His breath caught in his throat. “Lucifer?” He asked. If it  _ was _ Lucifer, it would be the best case scenario.

“Worse.”

_-_

Gabriel made it to the Bunker as quickly as he could, taking the stairs to the war room two at a time. Once he made it to the railing he looked down to see Castiel pacing back and forth, already in his uniform. The sleeves looked to have just been torn at and his wings were retracted back under his skin. The thought made his back begin to ache once more, reminding him of his own.

Castiel sensed Gabriel’s presence and looked up, a glare disorienting his usual stoic expression. “You’re late.”

“It’s not my fault you live in the middle of nowhere.” He began to descend the stairs, more slowly than he had climbed the last set. His hand gripped the railing so hard his knuckles turned white.

“Not what I meant,” Castiel folded his arms over his chest. “Where were you when I called you last night?”

“What are you, my mom? I was busy.”

“With what?”

“Does it matter?” When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he began looking around the room. Everything still looked relatively okay, despite the righteous smiting he was expecting from either Cas’ rage or their brother’s star squad. “Where is he?”

Castiel looked over his shoulder. “Library. And tread lightly because they’re angry with you.”

“All of them or just-”

“Please don’t say his name.” Castiel turned back towards him, a more serious look on his face then Gabriel had anticipated. “He’s more powerful than all of the Angels combined, don’t forget that. I’m sure if he hears his name, he’ll start listening.”

“So he’s our Voldemort?”

“More so our Macbeth.”

As they walked to the library, he thought over what Castiel had said. He used to give codenames for each of their brothers before they had left the Angels. He would always use literary characters for each brother. But, Macbeth was new. Their oldest brother used to be Arthur from the knights of the round table.

“If ‘He who shall not be named’ is Macbeth,” Gabriel said. “What about everybody else?”

“I’d be Young Siward, and Lucifer would be Macduff,” Once Castiel saw Gabriel’s confused look, he continued. “I’m the one who bumps up Macbeth’s ego by him killing me. Lucifer is the one who kills Macbeth. Actually, it may be the other way around.”

“Spoiler alert.”

“Foresight.”

“That’s not one of your powers.”

“No, but it was one of Sam’s.” Castiel shrugged. “And one of yours.”

It was quiet between the two of them for a moment. The only sound was their feet on the concrete and the distant arguing coming from the Library. Gabriel almost wanted to ask what Sam had to do with anything.

“Then what does that make me?” Gabriel asked instead.

Castiel was silent for a moment before shrugging. “You’re not in it.”

“I’m not sure if I should be offended or not.”

“You shouldn’t be, because it’s true,” Castiel stopped walking and turned towards Gabriel. “You took yourself out of the ANGELS narrative. You’re not one of us. You don’t want to be one of us.”

“Who told you that?”

“Sam did.”

“Again with Sam,” Gabriel huffed. “And what’s with the past tense? He’s fine, I saw him.”

Castiel’s face fell and Gabriel felt his heart stop. “He’s fine, right?”

Cas reached a hand out and set it on Gabe’s shoulder. “I need you to understand this, okay? Please try to stay as calm about this as possible.”

“That sounds like something you’d say when you know there’s a reason for me not to stay calm.” Gabe jerked his shoulder away.” Tell me what happened to Sam.”

“Sam hurt one of the other ANGELS who was with our brother. Before we had the chance to stop him, he attacked Sam.”

“Is he alive?”

“I… uhm” Cas shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s been radio silent.”

“That son of a bitch,” Gabriel shoved past Cas and stomped towards the library. His heartbeat sounded in his ears and he felt his nails digging into his palm. He forced the door open with a shove, all the nervousness about seeing his brother gone.

Despite the red rage distorting his vision, the first thing he saw were platinum wings. Each one stretched feet behind him. The wings caused a reflective shine on the back of his brother’s too perfect hair.

“Tell me where Sam is, or I swear to God-” His voice caught in his throat one his brother turned around. He had the same piercing blue eyes as Castiel. Hell, those two were practically the same person despite Cas’ emotions getting the best of him.

“Gabriel,” His voice was held the warlike air that Gabe used to be so familiar with. “I didn’t think you’d actually come.”

“Michael,” Gabriel said through gritted teeth. “Just tell me what you did to Sam and where he is.”

Michael took his time walking up to Gabriel, looking at each book title before taking another step and running his hands along the dusty tables. As he did that, it gave Gabriel too much time to think.

He and Michael had never been close. If anything, Gabriel was probably a bigger fan of Lucifer than Michael. Lucifer promised fun, and doing what you would want to do without anyone stopping you. Whereas Michael was more centered on direction and specifics. At least, he used to. Michael was obviously taking his time onmaking it to the front of the library. Was he planning something in his head, or was he truly just distracted.

When he did make it to Gabriel he tilted his head to side slightly before speaking as if he was confused on what he had said. “I don’t think I’m understanding. Sam? As in Winchester? Yes, the boy was definitely an abomination but I didn’t entirely think it was possible for him to be that bad.”

“So you killed him?”

“Attempted to,” Michael looked over his shoulder. “That seemed to mess up your Huntsman though.”

Gabriel hadn’t even noticed Dean was there, but that was because he probably  _ didn’t _ want to be noticed. He looked like he had gone a few rounds with a bear and lost. He had a black eye, burn marks covered his hands. The way he sat looked stiff. If he were to move, something would break.

“Tell me what happened.” Gabriel demanded. “Everything.” 

Michael looked his brother up and down, as if he was checking that Gabe really was his brother. Then, Michael began. “I wasn’t at the fight the entire time. My squad and I had been patrolling a town over when we received a message from Castiel asking for help. I knew that it had to be bad if he was actually calling me instead of anyone else. When we returned to Macto, I saw that the city was covered in a something that was akin to a dome. We thought it would hinder our process in entering, but when it didn’t we made no thought about it. Once we entered, my skin began to sting, but not really burn unlike some other people who have reactions.”

As Michael said that, he looked back at Dean. It finally connected to Gabriel where the burns came from. 

Michael continued.”It was relatively calm when we entered. Nobody running around frantically or screaming. When we entered where Castiel had told us they would be, two of my ANGELS charged forward at Sam, who swatted them both to the side. Neither of them had the chance to get a hit in.”

“Don’t play the victim,” Dean cut in. His voice sounded raspy and it cracked at every other word. “Don’t lie to Gabe. He deserves to know the truth.”

“I’m not lying,” Michael countered. “Raphael was paralyzed! Anna started going insane!”

“And you could have killed Sam!” Dean stood up from his spot, and immediately regretted it. “You may not know this, but humans don’t have the same healing time as ANGELS do. Trust me, you’re family will be fine in a few days. I don’t even know if Sam is alive, no one does!”

The words stopped making sense to Gabriel and all the sounds became muffled.

Sam’s voice echoed in his ears once more. ‘You don’t know anything about me.' That was the largest understatement he had ever heard. He knew that Sam did that because he was scared and didn't feel he was in control of his own life. He knew that Sam was hurting because nobody took him seriously. He saw the look his lover’s eyes held, he knew every goddamn thing he was thinking and yet…He didn’t say anything. Gabe could have saved him and he hated himself because he didn’t. He reached out for a chair over by the table and pulled it towards him so he could sit down. His legs were shaking and his head was starting to spin once more. 

“Sam isn’t gone.” Gabriel mumbled under his breath.

Dean looked over at him, eyebrows knitted together. “What was that?”

“He isn’t gone,” Gabe repeated. “If he was i would have been able to feel it.”

“You said you haven’t been able to feel him in awhile,” Cas commented from behind him. “Even Sam said he had trouble sensing you.”

“But dying is a big thing. I would have known. Hell, _ he _ would have known. The kid’s seen his own death hundreds of times. I know because he’s told me.” Gabriel sighed. “Besides, he’s to stubborn to die. Especially now that he knows he doesn’t need to have visions anymore.”

“He’s doing all of this damage just so his powers become obsolete?” Michael said in disbelief. “That’s idiotic.”

“Don’t talk about him that way,” Gabe said glaring up at his brother. “He’s the smartest person I know. The idea wasn’t his anyways. It was Lucifer’s you know that. It had to be. You remember how good he was at the whole, sale pitch thing.”

“Sale pitch thing?” Dean asked.

Gabe nodded. “He would get us to do pretty much anything just by making it sound like it’s something we wanted.” Dean folded his arms and looked down. “What?”

“I used to do the same thing.”

Gabriel opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted when he heard footsteps rushing into the library.

“We need to go back out there!” It was Kevin’s voice. His chest was heaving and he looked as if he had just ran a marathon. Knowing how big the Bunker was, Gabe guessed that it must’ve been close to one. “They just showed it on the news. It’s getting a lot worse. They said there were actually cases of spontaneous combustion. The reactions are bad. And the power’s that are kicking in has the city even more in hysteria.”

The three in the room looked around at each other. None of them were entirely sure they could handle it. Dean spoke up first.

“Kev’s right. People are dying, that’s not what we’re about. We’re stopping that son of a bitch, alright?”

“What about Sam?”

“He’s the son of a bitch I was talking about stopping. I don’t care if he’s my brother.” Dean looked down at Gabe who was still sitting in the chair. “You with us or against us?”

“I’m not hurting Sam.”

“I never said you had to. Just try and talk some sense into him. He’ll listen to you.”

“You do realize he just tried to kill me right?”

“Then, if worse comes worse, the Hunters will talk to him for you.”

_-_

Macto looked like a dystopian wasteland. Looking at all the damage that had been done since they were last outside made them all sick. Macto was the place they were to protect. It was their home, and it was their fault that it happened.

Windows had been shot out, gunshots echoed throughout the air, glass shards littered the streets. “I always heard people talking about how Macto was before but,” Gabriel swallowed. “Do you think it was like this?”

The streets were clear, cars habeen left behind, each building was abandoned. The few people that were around, didn’t even notice the Supers. Their eyes looked to be glazed over and the whites of their eyes had darkened.

“Sam’s eyes were like that,” Trickster commented. “Except that his turned almost like a gold color.”

“A gold like that?” Seraph asked as he pointed upwards. All of them looked up to see a translucent gold dome above them. Every few seconds a stream of light would start at the top and move downwards before the dome regained its stability.

“I thought it was one of Trick-” Echo began to say, but was interrupted by a wet dry cough. She tried taking a deep breath, but it only worsened.

“Echo?” Huntsman said. “Celeste, you alright?”

She nodded. “I’ll be fine.” Another cough. “It’s just really hot and dry. I can’t- It hurts to-” She bent over herself and coughed harder, this time blood coming up. Her face began to go a splotchy red.

“Get her inside!” Huntsman commanded. “Now!”

They rushed her into the first building they could find, a comic store a few buildings down. As soon as all of them were in, Echo collapsed and began to breath heavily. Slowly, she began to get her breath back. Dean stayed next to her as she began to recover, but Gabriel found himself distracted by their surroundings. He was in front of an entire wall full of comics books of him and Visum and everybody. The newest volume had just come out before everything started happening. On the cover was Huntsman throwing a punch forward, directly to his right was Visum, a hand pressed to his temple. Seraph flew above the two of them. The background was a harley quinn checkerboard with a deck of cards with the joker facing upwards with Gabe’s face on it.  Hunters vol. 10: Trump Card.

“High class villain status. That’s new.” He mumbled to himself. He looked back to see Castiel and Michael kneeling by the door. Cas was pressing t-shirts off the display into the cracks in the door while Michael held onto his blade.

Gabriel walked over and sat beside his younger brother. “Was Dean affected, too?” He asked

Cas hesitantly looked over his shoulder. “If he was, then it wasn’t as extreme as Celeste. I didn’t know it was possible for it to affect the respiratory system.”

“If it burns human’s skin, just imagine what it does to their organs.” Michael added.

“But it doesn’t affect everybody. Why?”

“It could be like a virus. Some people are born immune.”

“Or, they become immune.” Gabe added. “Like Sam.”

“Do you think that was what he was doing while we couldn’t find him?” Castiel asked. “Shooting up some Super chemical so he could do this.”

“I don’t think he knew this was endgame when he started.” Gabe sighed. “I know him. He wouldn’t just do this.”

“You have far too much trust in an insane man.” Michael commented before standing up. “I say we end this now.”

“Don’t say that about him,” Gabe bit back. “He’s not crazy.”

“Then he has sociopathic tendencies. Either way, we need to stop him,” Michael stood. “People are dying.”

Gabriel opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Cas. “Michael is right. We need to save as many people as we can, including Sam.”

Castiel looked over his shoulder and stared at Dean for a moment before saying, “I know what you’re thinking, Huntsman. Just stay with Echo, okay?”

“Why the hell would I do that?” Huntsman questioned. “He’s my brother, I don’t know what the hell you plan on doing to him after you catch him.”

Cas shook his head. “Fine, you can’t trust me. I understand that. Then trust, Gabriel. You know he wouldn’t let anything happen to Sam.”

Huntsman looked from Castiel to Gabriel before sighing in defeat. “I can’t trust him either, but I guess I don’t have a choice.”

Castiel looked as if he was about to say something, but before he had the chance, Michael grabbed hold of his wrist pulling him through the door. Gabriel followed close behind. 

It was almost surreal having his brothers by his side after all that time. Seraph, Archangel, and Trickster rarely ever saw eye to eye. He glanced at the two of them by his side. Archangel had a blade gripped in his hand, while Seraph’s wings were out.

Trickster sighed as he looked up at the dome above them. “Neither of you would ever work with me, would you?”

Seraph’s eyebrows knit together in confusion as he looked at Trickster. “I don’t think I understand what you mean.”

“You’re here to save, people. Which is a good thing. But what about Sam?”

Seraph and Archangel exchanged quick glances before Archangel spoke. “Of course we’re here to help people. If something happens to Visum, then he is collateral damage.”

“Why the hell can’t we save the people and Sam?”

“Listen,  _ Brother. _ ” Archangel stopped mid stride to turn and look down at Trickster. “People are dying. Do you want to save them?”

“Of course, but-”

“Even if it meant killing Sam?” Archangel said the name with distaste, causing Trickster’s blood to boil.

“Fuck no. I’m not letting anything happen to Sam. I’m not letting him get hurt. Not anymore.”

“ _ Thousands _ , brother. And you still choose Sam?” Trickster nodded. “Then I don’t believe we’re the ones with ulterior motives.”

Trickster opened his mouth to say something, but when nothing came out, he closed it once more in defeat. They continued to walk through the empty streets. Sam wasn’t collateral damage, not to him. He was the reason Trickster even came in the first place. They were all each other had. They used to say it was them against the world. As he looked at his brothers, both ready for battle, he really did feel like it was him and Sam verses everyone else.

_ You took yourself out of the ANGELS narrative. You’re not one of us. You don’t want to be one of us. _

Trickster didn’t want to believe it, but Seraph was right. He did want out of the ANGELS. That’s what he always wanted. No more wings, no more powers, no more hearing everybody.

Trickster had to admit, Sam made a great point.

“You’re right,” He finally said, determination filled his voice. “I do have ulterior motives. I don’t care what happens to Macto. I don’t care about the people. I care about Sam.”

“You’re letting your emotions get the better of you?” Seraph asked, taking a step forward. “Why?”

“You said it yourself,” Trickster grabbed hold of the blade he had in his sheath and tossed it onto the ground in front of them. “I’m not an Angel. Trust me, if I could take off the wings, I would.” He turned to walk away, but stopped in his tracks when his brother called out to him.

“You’re just going to let your identity be lost for some human?” Archangel bit back, betrayal in his voice. “He’s below us.”

“You know something,  _ Mikey _ .” Trick-, no,  _ Gabriel _ said as he turned back around. The usual mischief filling his tone once more. “You and Lucifer are so much alike. Azazel would be proud of you both.”

_-_

 

Sam opened his eyes slowly and saw a high domed ceiling. The same one that he had seen days before. Every time he looked up, his vision went blurry and began to feel sick. He forced himself to look down before breathing out. “I won’t be able to hold the astral projection if you want me to distract them.”

“Well, you’re going to need you,” Lucifer said as stood up from his plastic chair in front of Sam. “This was your idea, Boy King.”

Sam rolled his eyes before focusing once more on the dome above him. “Don’t call me that.” He huffed while staring up, forcing the bile down.

Sam had been at it for hours. Ever since he took the hit from one of the Angels, everything he tried to do was shakier. Even holding his hands still became difficult. The wound and the old scars that he had began to ache as one. Each movement made them burn, each breath was crippling.

He took a deep breath and used one hand to press as hard as he could on the wound while he used the other one to keep his balance on the speaker’s podium.

The lecture hall echoed with his screams the first time he so much as touched the bandage that was wrapped around the cut underneath his shirt. Instead of screams, what came out were small whimpers and a whispered string of curses spilling out of Sam’s mouth. 

Once he removed his hand, he felt even worse than before and leaned over the podium.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Lucifer questioned from his spot.

Sam let his head drop so he would look anywhere but the dome. “Numbs the pain-” He took a deep breath. “Enough that I forget about it.”

Lucifer sauntered over towards Sam. “Don’t try to forget about it. Do you understand me?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I can’t focus if-”

“Focus on the pain,” His voice came out in a rumble, almost too deep and quiet for Sam to understand. “Remember that it was them that did this too you.  _ All _ of this.”

“But, Gabriel-”

“Isn’t here,” Lucifer finished. “ _ You _ killed him.”

A small  _ Oh _ escaped Sam’s lips. How could he have forgotten. No, he wouldn’t forget about something like that. Despite how hard Sam was trying not to feel anything, he was sure he would be able to feel Gabriel. Or, maybe that was the goal. Maybe he wasn’t feeling Gabe anymore. The old him would have been on a rampage, destroying everything in his path. Yet, he felt nothing.

Sam shook his head and pressed hard on the wound once more as soon as it started to ache. “No,” He said through gritted teeth. “I don’t want to feel anything.”

Lucifer looked him up and down before giving him his space once more. “You did better than I thought, kid. You hold it, just a little bit longer, while I take out the trash.”

His steps clacked against the floor and echoed off the walls. Sam let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding and let himself slump onto the podium when Lucifer was out of earshot.

He wanted nothing more than to feel nothing. No more conscious, no more seeing people’s death dates, no more closeness. Yes, the closeness he had once craved more than anything, but not anymore. He can’t have it. It was too much of a risk. He worked to hard to become what he had.

“God Sam,” His breath caught in his throat when that all too familiar voice ringed in his ear.“Even with all the walls you put up, I can still read you like an open book. Maybe even better than before.”

“You stay the fuck away from me,” He said through gritted teeth. “One more step and I swear to God I’ll-”

“You’ll what? Kill me?”

“I did it once, don’t think I won’t do it again.”

“You obviously didn’t do to good because I’m still here.”

“Yes, you are still here. You’re like a roach. You just won’t die.”

“Sam-”

“Please Gabe, don’t make me do this again.” Sam screwed his eyes shut. “Because I will if I have too. I’ll do it again, and again, and again. All while feeling nothing.”

“Oh really?” Gabriel questioned, his voice growing louder as he got closer and closer to Sam.

“One hundred percent apathetic.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Positive.”

“Then look at me.”

Sam opened his eyes and was greeted first by a bright light. He blinked a few more times before he really took in Gabriel’s form.

“You have wings,” Was the first words that escaped his lips. “They look like Castiel’s.”

Gabriel looked insulted before saying. “Mine are bigger than his. A little rustier too, but still bigger. Not my fault that I never had a use for these until now.”

“And that’s how you survived?” Sam forced himself to stand up straighter. “You forced metal appendages out from underneath your already scarred skin to save yourself from hitting the pavement and you have yet to do anything about it? I almost want to say that it’s stupid. But I feel like it kind of sums you up. You would rather choose a constant aching pain then one that hurts, but instantly you can’t feel anything anymore.”

“And you would rather choose numbness over actually feeling anything despite the fact that what you’re doing to yourself could actually put you into shock.” Gabriel shook his head. “Are you trying to get yourself killed.”

“Desperate times,” Sam walked around the podium, forcing himself to keep a straight posture, towering over Gabriel.

“You do realise all of this is because of you, right?” Sam said. No, not Sam, someone else entirely. Lucifer called him the boy king, yet the name didn’t seem to do him justice. At least, not to him. 

“How could I do this to you?” Gabriel asked, he didn’t back down.

“One touch and I broke,” Sam looked over his shoulder. “This wouldn’t have happened if you just weren’t looking for me. But it’s just one more thing that helped me keep my distance from you even more.”

“I still feel you,” Gabriel said, taking a step closer. “Please, I know what it’s like in your head. I know that you’re trying to fight it somewhere in there.”

“Goddamnit, Gabriel!” Sam shouted, voice echoing off the domed cieling, magnifying his voice by one hundred. “Can’t you be happy for me?” He stepped into Gabriel’s space, looking down at him. His voice dropped down into a whisper. “At least once? I was doing this for you to stay with me, and now I’ve figured out that I can be perfectly fine without you. Why aren’t you proud?”

“Why would I be proud? You’re working with my brother for fuck’s sake. You’re killing people!”

“Who cares if a thousand die out of the million in this city?” Sam knew those weren’t his words, they didn't even feel like they were coming out of his mouth. The old him would have never said anything like that. “I’m saving billions. They can be heroes. And I don’t have to be anymore. I don’t have to hear people.” His voice shook. “I can finally make it all stop. Single handedly. Please be happy about this.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Sam’s hand dropped to his side. “Fine, if that’s what you think. But now you’re in my way.”

Sam made a motion with his hand that had Gabriel flung to the other side of the room. Gabe felt his head hit something hard and his vision blurred. The world felt like it's spinning, nothing still enough to focus on. He let his eyes flutter close For a moment, all he saw were colors flashing in front of his eyes and his ears rang. He heard a voice, muffled get louder as the sound of steps near as well. 

He opened his eyes to be met with  a pair of jet black combat boots. His weight was lifted off the ground, the pull centered around his back. His wings felt like they were burning his skin. When Gabe looked up, he saw Sam's eyes. Instead of the usual hazel that they were, they carried more of a yellow hue. "Look at me," Sam growled as he forced Gabe's head up. "See? In the eye? I could do this all day." He slammed Gabe's head against the podium once more and heard a loud crack. Trickster opened his eyes for a split second to see a splatter of blood on the dark wood and his head began to burn.  

For a moment, Sam hesitated. He looked at Gabriel, then down to a spot on his side that had began to bleed again. He forced himself to stand and stumble backwards. He took a deep breath and began to press on the wound once more, wincing as more blood began to seep out.

Gabriel forced himself to sit up, regretting the choice immediately as his vision blurred more severely and he was overcome with nausea. Sam continued to just stare at him, his eyes locked on a point on Gabe's head. He was certain that the split must have been worse than he had anticipated. The hero was almost tempted to let himself die by Sam. Trickster slain by the Boy King didn't sound too bad. A voice buzzed in his ear. "Walls are down, Trickster. We're on our way. How is Sam holding up?" Gabe had almost forgotten about the piece he had in his ear. It was Dean's voice.

Gabe took a deep breath. “Oh, Sam? He’s peachy. Hell, he’s never looked better.”

“And you?”

He stood to his feet slowly, suddenly filled with a new wave of adrenaline. Despite his wings being crooked and bent against his skin as well as his head pounding and ears ringing, Gabe felt more alive than he had before. That meant he was actually making some sort of practice. He raised his hand to his ear, pressing a button so he could respond. "No need to worry about me, Dean-o. I’m fine, and I’ve got him on the ropes." He forced a smug smile, earning a glare from Sam in return. Gabe knew he didn't have a chance with Sam. He knew he couldn't kill him. What Gabe could do, was outlast him. 

“Catch me if you can, kid.”


	10. Still Alive, Barely Breathing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update soon my ass. I apologize, I actually forgot this fic existed. And the worst part is, the only reason why I remembered is because the SGBB sign ups start in about a month... So enjoy the last chapter that's been done since February that went through a few small changes. Sorry about last chapter's cliffhanger

With a snap of his fingers, the world began to swirl around them until it became a whole new place. For a moment, Sam couldn’t quite place where they were. An old, run down house that looked as if it hadn’t been remodeled since the 70s. It didn’t look like Macto, at least not the big city that he was familiar with. No road signs indicated where he could possibly. No Gabriel in sight either. Maybe he had just thrown Sam into some weird limbo just long enough for him to heal.

The wound still ached but wasn’t entirely front in his mind anymore. The blood wasn’t seeping through his uniform.

No, not uniform. Normal, everyday clothes. He looked down at his arms to see that they were covered in a dark blue plaid pattern. Suddenly, the house began to feel more familiar. He hadn’t spent enough time there to really familiarize himself with the house, but he remembered the basics. Colonial style. Made in the 60s. Light brink. Road to nowhere in their front yard. His little corner of happiness for six months only to turn into his living hell before he even knew what hell was.

His mother’s house. She had died there. His whole life died there.

“Gabe?” The name was meant to come out intimidating. A shout to the sky demanding Trickster to get him the hell out that second. Instead, it was hesitant. Quiet. Small. “Why here?”

“Why not?” Instead of Gabriel’s voice, a woman’s voice replied. Soft spoken, yet enough command in her voice to make Sam’s heart skip a beat.

He turned around, finally taking his eyes away from the house to see her. She looked the same as all of the pictures. All of the comics he bought just to see her again.

“Mom?”

“I’m sorry it had to be like this.”

“What are you talking about?”

She took a step closer and took his hand in hers. “Seeing you again. I’m sorry you had to grow up without a mother, Monkey.”

“Not your fault,” Sam forced a bitter laugh. “Dean took that job anyway.”

“His job that he took up was to keep you safe, any means necessary,” Mary sighed. “And that’s what he did for some time. But, people change.”

“People change,” Sam repeated. “Yeah, I get that. I know because I can feel it when they do. After they change, my mind just re-reads them. A whole new death date in mind.”

“That only happens with touch,” Mary added. “You know that.”

“Yeah well, if we’re close then I can see it every single time they so much as turn the wrong corner.”

“Including Gabriel?”

“Especially, Gabriel.”

Mary held his hand tighter. A panicked look on her face. “Sam, I need you to listen to me. This is all in your head.”

“I figured as much. You’re dead, and yet-”

“Listen to me.” Her tone got Sam to shut up immediately. “Trust Gabriel. You seeing me, that’s what he wanted you to see. But even with that, you’re still doing… something. I can’t tell. You’re both dying and he won’t be able to hold this much longer.”

Her image flickered. His entire world flickered. Realities started flashing in front of his eyes. Strobe lights of different worlds. Then, it slowed. Something familiar. His apartment. Their apartment. Gabriel was laughing at something Sam had just said. Full body, pop shooting out of his nose. Sam felt himself laughing too. Another flash and he was on the streets of Macto, Gabe pointing some sort of finger guns at him, the world was frozen. It was just them. The two of them against the world, like they had planned. Again, fighting side by side. Again, a memory that was so bright. Fighting, whether it be with Gabe, Dean, himself. They all started to blur together.

_ Then, something new. Gabe’s death used to show itself as the fall. His wings shouldn't have come out. He should’ve hit the pavement. It was the two of them. A domed ceiling above them.  Sam’s hands pressing on Gabriel’s throat with tears running down his shut eyes. His breath felt swallowed, he knew Gabe didn’t stand a chance. ‘Catch me if you can’ was just a taunt that would make his death slower. Sam knew if that if the Boy King was still in charge, he would have killed him quickly. But a part of Sam was still there even though the rest of him checked out with the sap of Gabe’s fingers. He was angry. Angry that Gabriel would do something like that to him, then follow up with undermining something he knew he could do. _

_ The Boy King had been torturing him. Killing Gabe in a way that he could feel all of it.  _

_ Then, Sam came back too late. Gabe was gone. And Sam didn’t quite want to live without him around. He felt himself bleeding out. His hands lifted off of Gabe’s throat and moved to be placed softly on his cheeks. Sam could barely breathe. He couldn’t look at that. Not again. _

_ “You’re seeing it, Sam. You’re own death,” He saw himself speak. He wasn’t experiencing it first hand. No, he was a spectator. “And Gabe’s gone too. Your brother is going to come up the stairs and see you dead on top of the man he felt started all of this.” _

_ Sam felt like he was experiencing everything, and watching it simultaneously. He was certain that his possible future self was feeling the same way too. That had to be the only reason he was speaking out loud. _

_ “You have a choice,” His future self said, his voice choked up on either the blood filling his lungs or the lump in his throat. “Wake up and stop it. Because you can. Or wait and sit there in shock. Like I did. You don’t want to have to go through this again because seeing him die because of you is worse than seeing your own death a hundred times over.” _

His eyes snapped open to see Gabriel beneath him, eyes starting to glaze over and his face turning blue. His knee pushed deep into his ribcage. Sam pulled back as soon as he could and stared at his hands as if he had just stuck them in a fire. Had he stopped himself? Had he actually woke up in time?

“Gabe?” His voice was quiet and broken. “Please still be alive. I can’t see you die again. Please tell me I was quick enough?”

For a moment he didn’t get a reaction. Not even a little movement of his eyes. Sam began to think he was too late. Suddenly, Gabe coughed. It was the best sound Sam had ever heard. That cough meant he was still alive. He wasn’t too late.

“I lost control, Gabe. I’m so sorry. I can’t apologize enough. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for hurting everyone.”

“Sam,”Gabe’s voice came out as a whisper as he made desperate attempts to catch his breath. Sam wanted to get closer. To hold him and tell him it was okay. But, he was still scared. Maybe if he touched him again, he would lose control. Maybe he would see Gabe die again. Maybe he would see himself die again.

Instead of reaching out, he stayed three feet away, watching as his lover struggled.

“Don’t sit up,” Sam said, reaching a hand out, but retracting it immediately. “You probably have a bad concussion. You’re bleeding so much. I’m so sorry.”

“Help,” Gabe groaned.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you again. I can’t risk it.”

“You won’t,” Gabe forced a smile that ended up looking closer to a grimace. “I trust you.”

Sam moved closer to Gabe and carefully helped him sit up and lay on Sam’s lap. “Don’t close your eyes.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Sam took his glove off with his teeth and began using the fabric to wipe off some of the blood from Gabriel’s head.

“The vision of my mother, that was you wasn’t it?”

Gabriel winced at the pressure but spoke none the less. “Only way for you to listen,” He took a deep breath. “You’re cold. Why?”

“Blood loss, probably.” Until that moment, he had forgotten. He was so focused on Gabe’s well being that he completely forgot his own. “I’ll live.”

“No, you won’t,” Gabe met Sam’s eyes and smiled. “They’re hazel.”

“What? My eyes?” Sam raised an eyebrow. “They always are.”

“No. They were yellow when you were bad.”

“Really?”

“Mmhm.”

Sam could tell that Gabe was barely holding on to any sort of consciousness. His sentences to less structured. He couldn't focus on more than one thing at a time.

“You’re bleeding,” Gabe supplied, again infatuated with Sam’s own wound.

“We’ve been over this, babe.”

“Michael’s a dick.”

“He definitely is, sweetheart. Do you know if Dean is coming? He needs to get you help.”

“I’m good. Dean’s out waiting. You’re bleeding and cold,” Gabe grabbed the hand that was working on getting the blood off of his forehead and held it in his own. “And your hands are shaky.”

Sam was about to say something. Some words of encouragement or even just playing along with whatever Gabriel was saying. Instead, the door of the room was knocked down and shouting filled Sam’s head again. He looked over to see Dean and the rest of the hunters, along with a team of police officers. He felt a knee pushed against his back and then his chest his the cold hard floor.

The pain from his back and the wound on his side began to flare up again. With no other distractions, it practically consumed all his thoughts. The voices started to fade into the back of his mind as he watched the hunters take Gabriel away from him.

From the left of him, he heard the Miranda Rights being listed off. He could only manage to catch a few words. There was one voice in the center of his mind, one that he had been trying to force out since he was a child. Dean’s voice was quiet. Calm. Home. Yet, holding the command of a general.

_ Go to sleep, Sammy. And forget about this when you wake up. _

Suddenly, he began to feel tired.

_-_

 

“People of Macto, I would just like to apologize for the events of last week. The act was not only done by me but- uh… I was one of the only ones to survive it. But, I’m not here to put the blame on someone else. I’m here because I know I was a big part of it, and I wish I wasn’t. Forgiveness is something I doubt you would be willing to give me. Honestly, I can’t forgive myself. For any of it. People died because of me I-”

“Sam. Just read the cards.”

“Right, of course. I just… Anyway, for a penance to everything I’ve done, I will be staying in a solitary confinement of sorts. Where it is is confidential, but I can say that no powers can get in or out of it. And that’s where I’ll be. Until further notice. Any questions?”

Gabriel paused the video, he had seen it enough times to know it by heart. Hell, he was one of the people who wrote the speech for it. His memory was a little scattered about it, but he knew the gist. Sam did something bad. Really really bad. And he needed to apologize for it. He barely remembered the day himself. Sam had said that when he woke up, he barely remembered where he got the gash on his side from. Then followed through with asking if everyone was okay and making sure it wasn’t him who had done the damage. The guy was so sweet and kind, even the people who were interviewing him could believe that he really had almost killed everyone in the city. 

It wasn’t thousands that died like Sam had thought. Not even hundreds, only fifteen. In the long run, that wasn’t a lot. Not at all. Fifteen was a good number. But it was still fifteen lives lost. Sam did as much as he could for each of the families. Some forgave when they saw him show up to the funerals crying more than the family members were. Some forgave with a large sum of money and multiple donations to people who it did affect or hurt. Others didn’t quite have it in them. There were a few attempts at Sam’s life, but he still spoke in front of everybody. After that, he thought it best not to be seen again. At least until it would all blow over.

“Why are you watching it again?” Gabriel looked up from his laptop as he reclined in a bed to see Sam standing in the door frame. His eyes were tired and he walked with a limp. It looked as if he had aged years instead of the month that had passed. “I’m reminded of it every second of my life, why do you need to do it too?”

“Sam,” Gabe hummed as he folded the laptop closed. “It’s the only way I can really see you most days. That or reading the comic and they write you terribly.”

Sam nodded, folding his arms over his chest. “Well, I’m here now.”

“For how long?”

“I’m giving myself about six hours before I go back.”

“And I’m first on your victory lap?” Sam nodded. “Well then, we should probably get started.”

That time, Sam smiled. It was small, but it was good enough for Gabe. Sam closed the door behind himself before climbing onto the bed with Gabriel. He laid his head on the others shoulder and took his hand in his own.

“What do you want to talk about this time?”

“Anything but last month. I’m starting to remember again.”

“As you wish, kiddo.” They were quiet for a moment as Gabriel tried to think of something to say. “The comic finally caught up. You’re a pretty hot bad guy.”

“Sentiment is there, but-”

“Too soon. Got it.” Talking to Sam has gotten so hard. He couldn’t find anything to make himself say. Instead of anything leaving his mouth, he would just find himself counting the flecks of gold in Sam’s hazel eyes. Or counting the small moles on his face. Always starting with the one on his nose. Sometimes he’d just hold onto him, not willing to let go. It was the first time in forever that Sam didn’t push him away because of those stupid visions. Sam’s powers were pretty much gone, as well as Gabe’s. Sure, his wings were still there, as were Sam’s projections. But, they couldn’t quite get as close as they were before. Not in each others head at least. And that was what started their relationship in the first place.

“I love you,” Gabe said. “Have I ever told you that?”

“Not really, no.”

“Well, I do.”

A laugh bubbled out of Sam. “Yeah, I’m getting that.” He held their hands up and admired how they looked tangled together. “Are you gonna let your wings heal over again?”

“Probably. You’re brother’s trying to recruit me for the Hunters Initiative.”

Another laugh. This time, his head tilted back and his eyes closed. “Is he really calling it that now?”

“Well,” Gabe said with a shrug. “He’s pretty much got to make the entire thing again after all of that. Are you coming back?”

Sam’s smile faded. “I think it might be better if I don’t.”

“You’re getting better.”

Yeah,” He sighed. “ But I don’t quite trust myself yet.”

“Well,” Gabe said, moving in closer so that their lips were just centimeters apart. Breath mingling. “I trust you.”

“Six hours,” Sam before leaning into the kiss. He let go of Gabriel’s hand and let it cup his cheek. He broke the kiss for a moment. “I still need to see everybody else. So don’t tease me.”

“Maybe you don’t go back this time.” Gabe pulled away and moved so that he would be sitting with his legs straddling Sam’s. “Maybe we do what we did before. You can be my padawan.”

“For some reason, that sounds sexual.” Sam leaned forward, hoping to kiss Gabe again, only to be met with a hand to his chest, stopping him.

“Not the goal right now, kiddo.”

“Five hours and fifty minutes, Gabe. What did I say about not teasing.”

“I’m not teasing,” Gabriel said, defensively. “I just want you to be here with me. The bunker is huge, people keep asking me about shit I don’t understand. If I’m a hunter now, you’re gonna be there with me.”

“I can’t.”

“If it’s about you thinking you’ll slip again, I can help you through it. Just like we did last time. I can help you through everything if you’ll just let me.”

For a moment, Sam didn’t say anything. He looked up at Gabe with starry eyes. “Fine,”

“Fine?”

“Yeah,” He took a breath. “But that doesn’t mean I can be a hunter. I’ll help Kevin out with tech and shit like that, but I can’t go out there again.”

Gabriel smiled so wide he felt like his face was going to split. “That’s good enough for me, kiddo. Now, where were we?”

“Five hours, forty-five minutes.”

“And I plan to keep you for all of that too.”

It almost felt like they were back at that abandoned diner on Main Street. But this time, instead of sitting on the cold dirty ground, they were in their bed. Instead of clinging onto each other for dear life, they held onto each other with gentle hands and tangled limbs because they could. No more tears. No more visions. No more Ruby.

Gabe could feel Sam again. And Sam didn’t quite feel like he was dying anymore.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I Need A Hero [art]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5901760) by [litra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/litra/pseuds/litra)




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